Donald Trump Scores $15M Settlement Against ABC News: Spoiler Alert—It’s a Wild Ride!

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The Trump-ABC News saga just wrapped up in a way that even a Netflix drama writer couldn’t have scripted. Picture this: the 78-year-old president-elect (yes, you read that right) squaring off against ABC News and its resident interviewer-in-chief, George Stephanopoulos. Why? Because George said something that made Trump’s combover bristle harder than a windstorm at Mar-a-Lago.

The Incident
Let’s rewind to March. George, during a chat on This Week with Rep. Nancy Mace, claimed that Trump was found “liable for rape” in the E. Jean Carroll case. Hold up! According to Trump’s team, he wasn’t liable for that but was instead found responsible for—brace yourselves—“just” sexually abusing her. A distinction only a lawyer could spin as good news.

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Fast forward to December 14, and—surprise, surprise—Trump and ABC decided to settle things. Because nothing says “Let’s put this behind us” like millions of dollars and a forced apology.

The Price Tag
ABC News must fork over a jaw-dropping $15 million. Where’s the money going, you ask? A “Presidential foundation and museum” that Trump will, of course, grace with his name, gold-plated decor, and possibly a gift shop selling MAGA snow globes.

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Oh, but that’s not all. George and the gang are also coughing up a cool $1 million to cover Trump’s lawyer fees. Those guys don’t work for free, especially when your legal strategy involves splitting hairs between “rape” and “sexual abuse” like it’s a spelling bee.

The Cherry on Top
The pièce de résistance of this legal circus? ABC now has to slap a big, fat “Oops, our bad” disclaimer on their article. It reads like a bad prom night apology: “ABC News and George Stephanopoulos regret statements regarding President Donald J. Trump made during an interview by George Stephanopoulos with Rep. Nancy Mace on ABC’s This Week on March 10, 2024.”

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Translation? “Our bad for ticking off Trump—please don’t sue us again.”

Final Thoughts
So, what have we learned? Trump’s lawyers are apparently wizards, ABC News will now triple-check their scripts, and George Stephanopoulos might think twice before uttering the T-word. Meanwhile, Trump is probably measuring museum floor space for his life-sized gold statue.

And that, my friends, is how you settle a defamation suit in true Trumpian style—loud, dramatic, and worth every penny.

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