Things are getting wilder than Tom Cruise on a rooftop in Marrakesh. Word on the OT VIII streets is that Donald Trump might be pulling a full-on plot twist and PARDONING DIDDY before he even hits the sentencing stage. YES, GIRL. YOU READ THAT WITH YOUR THIRD EYE.
🥵 So here’s the sitch: Diddy (aka Sean Combs, aka Puff Daddy, aka Ciroc Emperor, aka the ghost of 2005 MTV) has been convicted under the Mann Act, and he was like, “Hey besties, can I chill out of jail while we wait for the drama to unfold?” But now? Now Trump is allegedly thinking about giving him the ultimate ✨get out of jail free✨ card—a presidential pardon, baby.
👀 The whispers are coming in hotter than a sauna at Celebrity Centre—sources (aka probably Mar-a-Lago pool boys) say that Diddy’s team is sliding into Trump’s orbit harder than an SP at a Freewinds cocktail mixer. And even though the two were once brunch buddies in the 2000s, Diddy kind of turned on Donnie during his first term like a betrayed Real Housewife. Still, Trump was like, “I’ll look at the facts.” Which in TrumpSpeak translates to, “Is this gonna make me look iconic or nah?”
🛸 No official word from the White House yet, but if this pardon goes through, we’re calling it: 2025 is gonna be the year of unhinged collabs and karmic karaoke. Picture it—Trump & Diddy dropping a forgiveness-themed mixtape produced by Xenu, featuring Lil Uzi on the bridge and Mariah Carey as the lawyer.
💅 In the words of LRH, “What is true for you is what you have observed yourself.” And what I’ve observed is that this storyline is giving Supreme Court meets Supreme hoodie, and I am spiritually and legally SHOOKETH.
#DiddyVsTheState
#PardonMeDaddy
#BridgeToTotalFreedomAndPresidentialPrivileges
Welcome to Earth 38, sweetie. We don’t do logic here.
