When you’re 99 years young and a living legend like Dick Van Dyke, you’d think retirement would involve naps and reruns of The Dick Van Dyke Show. But no—Dick decided to spice things up by starring in his very own action thriller: Escape from Malibu Fire! Spoiler alert: the neighbors played the superheroes.
The chaos unfolded when the Franklin Fire decided to cosplay as a dragon, blazing its way through Malibu Canyon, California. As smoke painted the sky, Dick realized it was time to ditch the backyard shuffleboard and evacuate. But evacuating at 99 isn’t exactly a walk in the park. It’s more like trying to run a marathon when your main cardio is dancing in Mary Poppins… 50 years ago.
“It was coming over the hill, you could see it,” Dick shared, sounding like a cowboy describing a stampede. “And oh my god, we got out of here.”
But before you imagine a graceful retreat, hold your horses. Dick wasn’t exactly sprinting to safety. Instead, he found himself tangled in what can only be described as a showdown with a garden hose. “I was trying to crawl to the car. I had exhausted myself. I couldn’t get up,” he admitted. Yes, even legends have their moments of mortal struggle.
Cue the entrance of Malibu’s Neighborly Avengers™. Three locals swooped in, picked up the man who’s entertained us for decades, and carried him to safety. As if that wasn’t enough, they turned back to douse the flames licking at Dick’s guest house. Real-life heroes.
The Franklin Fire wasn’t messing around, though. It torched over 4,000 acres, flattened 20 structures, and gave the Malibu real estate market a collective anxiety attack. Among the losses were nine single-family homes, proving once again that wildfires don’t discriminate.
By Tuesday, the fire was 63% contained, which is like saying Malibu was 63% done being stressed out.
As for Dick? He’s safe, sound, and probably rethinking his relationship with garden hoses. If anyone’s earned the right to kick back after this, it’s him.
Our hearts go out to everyone impacted by the wildfire, and a round of applause for Dick’s superhero neighbors. Forget capes—they’re rocking garden gloves and fire extinguishers like pros.