Colin Jost vs. Scarlett Johansson: The ‘SNL’ Roast Battle Nobody Saw Coming!

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Saturday Night Live just gave us the ultimate holiday gift: a live, unscripted showdown between Colin Jost and Scarlett Johansson, with Michael Che playing the chaotic puppet master we didn’t know we needed.

For the uninitiated, there’s a Weekend Update tradition where Colin and Michael write jokes for each other to read sight unseen. This year, Michael decided to spice things up by dragging Colin’s literal movie star wife into the mix. Scarlett wasn’t just an innocent bystander; she was lurking in a hallway like the world’s most glamorous judge, jury, and executioner, watching the chaos unfold.

The Joke Heard ‘Round the Studio
Colin, sweating bullets, kicked off with, β€œI want to dedicate this next joke to my boo, Scarlett Johansson.” That’s right, he called her his boo. Somewhere in that moment, you could hear the sound of a thousand tabloids firing up their headlines. Scarlett, watching from a monitor, looked like she was mentally filing divorce papers.

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And then it came. The joke to end all jokes: β€œY’all know Scarlett just celebrated her 40th birthday, which means I’m about to get up out of there!” Cue Colin’s panicked backpedaling: β€œShiz! Nah, nah. I’m just playin’!” But wait, there’s more! He pivoted to a joke about their baby that involved a photoshopped image of the couple holding a very unexpected child. Let’s just say the internet is still recovering from the memes.

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The Roast Beef Saga
Just when you thought Michael was done torturing Colin, he threw in another zinger. Colin read, with visible regret, β€œCostco has removed their roast beef sandwich from its menu, but I ain’t tripping. I be eating roast beef every night since my wife had the kid!” The audience exploded. Scarlett, somewhere backstage, was probably Googling annulment laws.

But Michael wasn’t done yet. The punchline? β€œNah, nah, I just playin’, baby. You know I don’t go downtown! Shiz! That’s gay as hell!” At this point, Colin’s soul had clearly left his body, and Scarlett was likely texting her agent to book a rom-com about life as a single mom.

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The Aftermath
What makes this entire segment a masterpiece is the live reaction factor. Scarlett Johanssonβ€”Oscar nominee, Marvel icon, and Colin Jost’s personal roast victimβ€”was right there. You could practically hear her screaming β€œYou better sleep with one eye open, Jost!” from the hallway.

Michael Che, meanwhile, looked like a man who just won Christmas. The man deserves an Emmy for live trolling. Colin deserves a long vacation. Scarlett deserves a spa day and maybe a restraining order.

If SNL doesn’t release a behind-the-scenes documentary of Scarlett’s hallway reactions, we riot.

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