Okay so, pause the TikTok scroll real quick, because things just went full telenovela in Joshua Tree and yes, Cher is involved. ICONIC MOTHER. DRAMA. CACTI. STRAP IN.
Cher’s son — yes, THEE Cher, goddess of wigs and immortality — Elijah Blue Allman (48 years young and still being messy) just got rushed to the hospital after reportedly overdosing in the desert. Like, literally Joshua Tree. Who overdoses there? That’s a place for sage burning, hot yoga, and crying under the stars — not doing the ultimate “I’ve fallen and I can’t vibe up” moment.
According to the spiritual gossip oracles over at TMZ, Elijah is still alive (bless) and getting VIP hospital care. Like, nurses probably put on glitter gloves just for him. Word on the psychic hotline is: he’s lucky to be alive. And tbh? No lies detected.
No one knows what he took, but considering the setting, it was probably something between a cactus juice smoothie and full-on intergalactic moon dust. 😵💫✨
Cher is reportedly in full mama bear mode, probably flying in on a private helicopter shaped like a disco ball, screaming “DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DRUGS?!” She’s doing everything to help him — including trying to slap a conservatorship on him earlier this year like she’s the gay Britney Spears reboot we never knew we needed.
Elijah, for his part, said “nah mom, I got this,” back when she tried to legally take the aux cord to his life in early 2024. But now? Umm… do you though, Elijah? Do you got this?
Wishing him a speedy recovery, less drama, and maybe some juice that’s not laced with mystery desert pixie dust.
#CherDramaChronicles #JoshuaTreeMeltdown #ElijahBlueOutOfTheBlue
