Celine Dion’s Vocal Cords Give In, She Can No Longer Sing

Buy Me A Coffee

Hold on to your high notes because Celine Dion is facing a hilarious showdown with her vocal cords! The iconic singer, amidst her ongoing health circus, is expressing a burning desire to serenade her fans on stage. But guess who’s the new rockstar in town? Stiff-person syndrome! Oh yes, you heard it right.

In a plot twist that even Shakespeare couldn’t have conjured, Celine’s sister, Claudette Dion, spilled the beans to the National Enquirer. Apparently, Celine is working harder than a cat trying to herd mice, but alas, stiff-person syndrome decided to crash the party. Claudette dramatically declared, “She doesn’t have control over her muscles โ€” and vocal cords are muscles.” Well, someone get those vocal cords an etiquette class!

See also  All Five Members of Destiny's Child Pose Together For The First Time Ever

Celine’s dream of belting out tunes on stage is hanging by a thread, or should we say, a spasm. According to Claudette, it’s like a muscle rebellion up in here, and not the cool, dance-off kind. “It’s true that in both our dreams and hers, the goal is to return to the stage. In what capacity? I don’t know,” Claudette pondered, probably imagining a world where vocal cords obey like well-trained puppies.

Insiders spilled the tea, revealing that Celine is totally okay with the idea of becoming the singing sensation on wheels. Picture this: Celine in a wheelchair, belting out ballads like a diva on a joyride. But hold up, the vocal cords are playing hard to get. They’re like the rebellious teenager of the musical anatomy, causing spasms that turn Celine’s serenade into a wild rollercoaster ride.

See also  Celine Dion Almost Died While Battling Stiff Person Syndrome

“But her voice is just not coming back the way that would allow her to perform or record again,” sighed an insider, probably envisioning Celine’s vocal cords pulling a prank on her. “Spasms in her vocal cords? Oh sure, let’s throw in a surprise twist mid-song and watch the audience go wild!”

Sadly, it seems like Celine’s vocal cords are channeling their inner diva and rejecting all attempts at repair. Surgery and therapy? Well, those are just fancy words in the vocal cord dictionary that seem to be falling on deaf… uh, vocal cords. In the meantime, we’ll be here, eagerly waiting for the day Celine’s vocal cords decide to join the harmonious circus once again. Stay tuned for the most epic comeback since disco!

See also  Katy Perry Opens Up About Working With Dr. Luke Even After Kesha Accused Him Of Sexual Assault

Comments area

Sidebar

Must Read

Christina Ricci Says Her Father Was A “Failed Cult Leader”

Christina Ricciโ€™s childhood was basically the kind of drama...

Sabrina Carpenter Announces ‘Short n’ Sweet Tour’

Sabrina Carpenter is hitting the road with her brand...

Kylie Minogue Stunned at the People’s Choice Awards

Picture this: Kylie Minogue struts onto the scene at...

Milo Ventimiglia Calls It “Love At First Sight” With Jarah Mariano

Milo Ventimiglia just unleashed a love saga for the...

Beyoncรฉ, Jay-Z, and Blue Ivy: The Royal Family of Cool Crash the ‘Mufasa’ Premiere

Oh, Hollywood, prepare your red carpets because the Carters...

Sophia Bush Ends Marriage to Grant Hughes: Itโ€™s Settled!

Sophia Bush, aka the queen of brooding stares on...

Beast Games Is Here to Blow Your Mindโ€”And Probably Your Socks Off!

Beast Games has entered the chat! The much-hyped reality...

Kylie Jenner Shows Off Her Toned Stomach In New Selfie Amid Pregnancy Rumors

Kylie Jenner, the unstoppable force of fashion and reality...

Margot Robbie Is Producing ‘The Sims’ Movie For Amazon MGM

Itโ€™s official: The Sims is about to hit the...

You Might Also Like

Sharon Osbourne Slams Marijuana, Says It Makes You “A Blob”

Sharon Osbourne spilled the beans on her absolute least...

Kendall Jenner is All Bundled Up in Aspen

Guess what fabulous adventure Kendall Jenner embarked on? Brace...

Legendary Voice Actor Dave Mallow Morphs Into the Great Beyond at 76

We have some bittersweet news straight out of the...

Dakota Johnson Hasn’t Seen ‘Madame Web’ Yet Amidst Terrible Reviews

Dakota Johnson, the Marvel maven herself, has spilled the...

Halle Bailey and Rachel Zegler Talk About Hate Over Disney Princess Castings

Halle Bailey and Rachel Zegler recently tackled the wild...