The Cardi B and Offset saga is still giving us premium entertainment. You’d think we were tuning into a Netflix series at this point. The latest? Both Cardi and Offset were spotted at the same club in Miami on December 14, which, in celebrity math, equals social media chaos.
Offset was apparently ringing in his 33rd birthday, doing birthday-ish things like popping bottles and vibing to beats. Cardi, meanwhile, was also there because… who doesn’t love a little synchronized chaos? Were they together? Were they at opposite corners side-eyeing each other over the DJ booth? Nobody knows. But you best believe the internet had questions.
Lucky for us nosy onlookers, Cardi decided to give a little tea on X Spaces (formerly Twitter Spaces for you tech laggards). According to The Jasmine Brand, she announced that things between her and Offset are officially “chill”—or as chill as things can get when you’re Cardi B.
“We’ve been peaceful for over a week, so we like the energy,” Cardi declared, sounding like someone who just found out her roommate did the dishes for once. “We ain’t beefin’. We ain’t really speaking.”
Translation: It’s peaceful because they’re not speaking. Honestly, groundbreaking.
The pair, who have three kids together—Kulture (6), Wave (3), and their baby girl born in September—are officially co-parenting like pros. Cardi says things are healthier now, which, if you’ve been keeping track, is a nice shift from their typical “all caps Instagram rant” energy.
“We’ve been really happy,” she said. “It’s been, like, eight days with no drama.” Friends, this might sound like a small victory, but eight whole drama-free days in the Cardi-Offset universe is practically a miracle. I bet even their group chat is quieter.
Here’s the kicker: both Cardi and Offset are apparently dating other people now and embracing the kind of “zen” that only comes when you truly stop caring.
“You heard I’m with a n—a, don’t bother me. I hear you with a b—h, I don’t bother you,” Cardi said, like the unofficial queen of mutual indifference. Honestly, relationship goals?
Cardi and Offset are co-parenting, vibing separately, and keeping the peace—mostly by pretending each other’s love lives don’t exist. Somewhere, a relationship therapist is nodding approvingly while adding this strategy to their next PowerPoint: “The Art of Not Bothering Each Other.”
Stay tuned, because with Cardi and Offset, the drama might be on vacation, but it’s never truly gone.
