BREAKING: Kid Cudi Testifies That Diddy Broke Into His House Like a Hip-Hop Batman—and May Have Set His Porsche Ablaze Like a Villain in “Fast & Furious: Petty Edition”

Buy Me A Coffee

Welp, things just got spicier than a Nashville hot chicken sandwich at a Coachella afterparty. Kid Cudi, everyone’s favorite moon man and musical philosopher, has officially stepped into the chat—on the witness stand, no less—during Diddy’s real-life Law & Order: Hip-Hop Unit courtroom drama. And yes, it involves break-ins, threats, Molotov cocktails, and a dog with PTSD.

Let’s unpack.

So on Day 9 (because of course this trial has more episodes than Euphoria Season 3 will), 41-year-old “Day ‘n’ Nite” legend Scott “Kid Cudi” Mescudi spilled the herbal tea on what went down between him, Cassie, and a very not-chill Diddy back in 2011.

Here’s the tl;dr: Cudi dated Cassie briefly, Diddy got mad mad, and then things got real Home Invasion: Hip-Hop Edition real.

First of all, the courtroom had a full-on Paw & Order moment when lawyers argued whether Cudi’s DOG could be used as evidence. Why? Because the pupper apparently got super shook after Diddy allegedly broke into Cudi’s house like a rap game burglar in a Balenciaga hoodie.

See also  Hailey Bieber Not Happy With Her Father Who Asked the Public to Pray For Her and Justin

Judge Arun Subramanian said—actual quote—“He’s not going to testify to what the dog thought,” which caused the courtroom to laugh, because yes, we’ve officially entered “Did Diddy emotionally damage a dog?” territory.

Cudi was ultimately allowed to testify about the dog—but, you know, vibes only. RIP to the pup, who is “no longer with us,” according to prosecutors. (Gone but never forgotten, brave woof.)

Now here’s where it gets straight-up movie plot:

Kid Cudi said that back in December 2011, Cassie hit him up like, “Hey, so Diddy found out we’re a thing and he is NOT happy. Also, can you pick me up? Like now-now.” She was scared and allegedly said Diddy was being abusive. Cudi swooped in like a true gentleman and took her to the Sunset Marquis to get her away from the drama.

See also  Mary-Kate Olsen Is On Vacation With Former Boyfriend Sean Avery

Then came the heist film scene: Cudi gets a call from Capricorn Clark (who sounds like either an ex-astronaut or a Marvel sidekick, but was a Diddy employee), telling him that DIDDY AND A FRIEND WERE INSIDE HIS HOUSE.

Cudi’s response: “Motherf—, are you in my house??”
Diddy: “I am here waiting for you.”
Us: 🫠

Fast-forward to 2012: Kid Cudi’s Porsche just casually catches on fire in his driveway while he’s not home. A dogsitter calls him freaking out, and a friend sends him pics that show the top of the car was OPEN—as in, “ready to receive firebombs” open.

And yep: prosecutors say it looked like a Molotov cocktail was the guest of honor at that Porsche roast. Cassie also previously testified that Diddy said he wanted to blow up Cudi’s car, but in a totally classy way—like, “I won’t even be in the country when it happens!” Okay, 007.

Cudi straight-up said he knew Diddy was behind it and tried to meet him for a face-to-face. (Pro tip: maybe don’t invite the guy who may have firebombed your car to brunch?) They met at a hotel, and when Cudi walked in, Diddy was already there—hands behind his back, staring out the window like he was auditioning for the role of Marvel Villain: Diddystrange.

Kid Cudi literally said: “He looked like a Marvel super villain.”

See also  Madame Tussauds Make A Change To Justin Bieber's Wax Figure After Baby News

The courtroom, at this point, probably needed popcorn.

So now we’ve got fire, threats, break-ins, a traumatized dog, and a hip-hop feud that plays out like an episode of Succession crossed with John Wick (but with more velvet blazers and champagne).

Stay tuned for the next courtroom episode—because if this trial gets any wilder, we’re gonna need HBO Max to pick it up and cast Lakeith Stanfield as Kid Cudi and Idris Elba as Diddy.

And give the dog a spinoff. He earned it. 🐶🔥

BREAKING: Kid Cudi Testifies That Diddy Broke Into His House Like a Hip-Hop Batman—and May Have Set His Porsche Ablaze Like a Villain in “Fast & Furious: Petty Edition”

Comments area

Sidebar

Must Read

Ryan Reynolds Reveals Parenting Secrets: “We’re Just Trying to Keep Things Normal…ish”

Ryan Reynolds, Hollywood’s favorite walking sarcasm machine, has opened...

Luigi Mangione Takes Manhattan: Helicopters, Haircuts, and Hilarity Ensue

Breaking news: Luigi Mangione, a 26-year-old Pennsylvania native and...

Hoda Kotb Opens Up About Her Split From Fiancé Joel Schiffman

Hoda Kotb is spilling the tea on her breakup...

Blackpink’s Lisa Stuns In A Corset At The MTV VMAs

Lisa has just sashayed down the black carpet at...

Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid Jet-Off to London After Oscar Snub

Guess who's jet-setting across the pond for a London...

Nicki Minaj Refuses to Perform ‘Starships,’ Calls It “Stupid”

Nicki Minaj sent shockwaves through the music universe as...

Selena Gomez Reveals Details About Her Upcoming Album

Get ready to join the Selena Gomez rollercoaster because...

Is Armie Hammer Really A Cannibal? Actor Discusses Accusations

Actor Armie Hammer is finally breaking his silence about...

You Might Also Like

Donna Kelce’s Hallmark Acting Debut: Tackling Christmas Movies Like a Pro

Move over, Mariah Carey—Donna Kelce is coming for your...

Michelle Yeoh To Play The Lead In ‘Blade Runner 2099’ Series On Prime Video

Guess who's stepping into the future—Michelle Yeoh! That's right,...

Riccardo Tisci Accused of Drugging, Assaulting Man After NYC Night Out

Famed fashion designer Riccardo Tisci — known for...

Nick Carter Opens Up About Death of Brother Aaron Carter

Nick Carter is breaking his silence about the passing...

‘When Calls The Heart’ Season 12 Release Details Announced

The Hallmark Channel’s cozy small-town drama When Calls the...

🚨Abbott Elementary Is Eating Up Everyone’s Lives and Quinta Brunson Is Lowkey Over It?!🚨

—“Somebody free these actors, they're trapped in homeroom!” Okay, class,...

Cardi B and Offset Spent Valentine’s Day Together

The Cardi B and Offset rollercoaster is back on...

Battle of the Jennifers? Not Today, Satan!

If you were hoping for a Real Housewives-style showdown...

Prince Harry Did Something Risky In Nigeria Without Meghan Markle

Gather 'round for a tale of Prince Harry's daring...