In a twist no one saw coming, Amber Rose, the 40-year-old model and entrepreneur, traded in her stilettos for a soapbox at the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She kicked off the event with a speech that had more plot twists than a daytime soap opera.
Amber, channeling her inner political analyst, declared, βIβm no politician and I donβt wanna be. But hereβs the tea: the media has lied to us about Donald Trump. For the longest time, I was sipping that left-wing Kool-Aid, thinking Trump was a racist. Then I had an epiphany: Trump and his squad donβt care if youβre Black, white, gay, straight, or a Martian. Itβs all love, baby. These are my people. This is my tribe.β
Cue the dramatic music and enter Sarafina Chitika, the democratic campaignβs senior spokesperson, with a response sharper than a Kardashianβs contour line.
Sarafina, with a smile that said, “Hold my coffee,” told Variety, βAmber Rose got one thing right: research is clutch. So, we did some homework and brought receipts. Amber claims American families thrived under Trump β well, if by ‘families’ she means Trump’s billionaire BFFs, sheβs nailed it. But for Black communities? It was like starring in a horror movie. Black unemployment and uninsured rates went up faster than a balloon at a birthday party, and crime rates were the uninvited guest that just wouldnβt leave.β
Sarafina wasnβt done serving the tea. She added, βVoting for Trump is like buying a designer bag from a street vendor: you think youβre getting something fabulous, but youβre just lining the pockets of millionaires like Amber while real Black communities are left clutching at straws. And that, my friends, is the hard truth.β
A political showdown with more drama than a reality TV reunion. Stay tuned for the next episode of “2024: Election Shenanigans,” coming to a newsfeed near you!