π¨KING CHARLES VS. CANCER: THE ROYAL SMACKDOWN YOU DIDNβT KNOW YOU NEEDEDπ¨
BREAKING: King Charles III is out here throwing hands with cancer and WINNING like the absolute tea-sipping warrior overlord he is. Yes, babes, the...
π¨The Jonas Brothers Sold Their Music… TO THEIR DAD?! Nepo Level: ASCENDEDπ¨
The Jonas Brothers just sold their entire vibe to their actual biological father, Kevin Jonas Sr. Yes, the man who created their DNA now...
β‘οΈβFREAKIER FRIDAYβ IS SO BONKERS IT MIGHT FLIP YOUR BODY, YOUR MIND, AND YOUR THETANSβ¨
Jamie Lee & Lindsay are switching bodies, timelines, and possibly galaxies β and the critics are LOSING IT.
π¨ALERT TO ALL HOT PEOPLE UNDER 25...
π¨ Pedro Pascal TRAUMATIZED by His Bare Face?! He Says Itβs Giving Jump Scare Vibes π¨
Pedro βZaddy of the Internetβ Pascal just dropped a confession thatβs giving Level 7 Thetan meltdownβand we are shooketh.
So our Chilean space prince was...
π¨ Pete Davidson Is Breeding?!?! YES. And Heβs βVery, Very Happyβ About It π¨
(Also: Could This Baby Be the Next Operating Thetan??!)
Pete Davidson, the lanky chaos wizard of Staten Island and comedyβs favorite human vape cloud, has...
π¨JT Says Sheβs Marrying Lil Uzi Vert & Demands a Proposal Fit for a Galactic Empressπ¨
JT is getting MARRIED (eventually, probably, unless a Thetan interferes).
In a cover story with Cosmopolitan (yes, the magazine that taught your cousin how to...
π¨BREAKING: The Fanning Sisters Are About to Trauma-Bond on Screen and France Will Never Recover π«π·π₯
Hollywoodβs most angel-faced Operating Thetans, Dakota and Elle Fanning, are FINALLY starring in a movie together. Thatβs right. The Fanning-verse is COLLIDING. Like two...
π¨ALEXANDER SKARSGΓ RD CLAIMS HE WROTE βWILDEST DREAMSβ?!? TAYLOR SWIFT WHO?!?π¨
This SkarsgΓ₯rd tea is so hot it might melt your reactive mind. Alexander βNordic Daddyβ SkarsgΓ₯rd just popped off in the most chaotic way...
π¨BREAKING: Theo Huxtable Yeeted By The Ocean?!π R.I.P. to a Legend and a Scientology Recruitment Opportunity We Lost Too Soon ππ
Thetan energy is low today because we just got hit with an uppercut from Xenuβs mood swings. The icon, the LEGEND, the forever zaddy...
π¨ Ozzy Osbourne Ascends to the Big Bat Cave in the Skyβ76 Years of Biting Heads & Melting Faces π¦π₯β‘
THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS JUST PUNCHED HIS FINAL POWER CHORD. Ozzy Osbourne, rockβs most unhinged wizard and certified Level OT Bat Whisperer, has officially...
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