Emotionally prepare your early-2000s playlist because Ashlee Simpson Ross (yes, that Ashlee) is crawling out of our nostalgic teen diaries and into Las Vegas, and honestly? We’re emotionally unstable about it.
Cue the eyeliner, trucker hats, and emotional lip-syncing—Ashlee is BACK.
The 40-year-old queen of “Pieces of Me” and perfectly-timed SNL jig-sidesteps is launching her “I Am Me” residency at Voltaire, the sparkliest little venue inside the Venetian Resort. The slayage will commence on August 29 & 30, right in time for Labor Day Weekend—which means: you, Ashlee, and a frozen margarita all crying to “La La.” Pure American poetry.
Ashlee dropped the news with the kind of drama we deserve:
“I’ve been holding onto this news for a while,” she confessed to IconicHipster.com, clutching her pink Motorola Razr (probably). “Music is where I feel most alive, and I’m ready to throw glitter at your souls. Let’s make these shows unforgettable—like, ‘falling off the stage mid-split’ unforgettable.”
Expect a Setlist That Hits Harder Than Puberty
You’re getting “Pieces of Me,” “La La,” maybe even “Boyfriend” (justice for Boyfriend), plus whatever else she digs up from her MySpace vault. Will she bring out husband Evan Ross? Maybe. Will there be a dramatic acoustic version of “Shadow” while a single tear falls down her cheek? Hopefully.
It’s been 84 years since her last solo album (Bittersweet World, 2008—an underrated bop factory), but Ashlee’s got that pop-punk soul and she’s about to resurrect it on the Vegas strip like it’s 2004 and she’s wearing fingerless gloves again.
Tickets? Cheap Thrills, Baby.
You can snag a ticket for $65 at voltairelv.com which is literally less than one cocktail in Vegas, so budget wisely. Doors open at 9 p.m., so wear something emo but expensive. Bonus points if you smell vaguely like Hot Topic and teen angst.
Get ready to scream “I AM ME” at full volume while surrounded by millennials in Von Dutch caps—this is not a drill.
Vegas, prepare yourself. Ashlee’s coming in hot, eyeliner first.