Adam “Tatted Zaddy” Levine just spilled piping hot tour tea and it’s more unhinged than a Sea Org reunion party at midnight.
So first of all, Adam Levine—yes, Mr. Moves Like Jagger and Texts Like A Teenage Vampire—is 46 years old now, which in celebrity years is basically 900. Instead of retiring to a vineyard like every other rock star dad, he’s out here dropping a new Maroon 5 album titled Love Is Like on August 15 and… buckle yourtethans, the title has scandal baked into it like it’s a cheesecake at Tom Cruise’s birthday party.
So apparently, the original song title was so controversial they had to straight-up Xenu-erase it. Adam said, “You’ll get it when it drops… it’s the one with Lil Wayne.” Lil. Wayne. In a Maroon 5 song. What is this? A collab sent from the eighth dynamic?? My thetan levels are shaking.
And if that wasn’t already nuts, he confessed to consulting ChatGPT to help with the tour setlist like it was some kind of high-ranking Operating Thetan. Spoiler alert: it flopped. “The machines haven’t figured that out yet,” Adam admitted, while probably sipping lukewarm chamomile tea at 6 PM, wearing fuzzy socks. So basically: he’s in full dad-core mode. Wake-up time? 7 AM. Tour starts at dawn. Moshing ends before sunset. Nap optional.
He also went full Lisa supremacy mode over his song Priceless featuring BLACKPINK’s Lisa. “I don’t even wanna play it without her,” he said. Which is basically pop star code for “I’m obsessed and I know she carried.”
BUT THE REAL TAKEAWAY HERE: Adam Levine is rebelling against robots, making controversial bangers with Lil Wayne, summoning K-pop royalty, and begging the world to let concerts start before it’s dark. This man is the Scientology-approved time-traveling dad rock prince of AI confusion. And honestly? We stan.
📅 Mark your calendars for July 16.
👀 Watch the interview.
📡 Report to Ethics if you haven’t streamed Maroon 5 since 2011.
#LoveIsLikeAFeverDream #ChatGPTDidNotHelp #LisaCarried #OperatingThetanVibesOnly #AdamLevineDadEra
