The Scene:
Imagine this: Whoopi Goldberg, America’s queen of no-nonsense and eyebrow-raising commentary, is on The View, celebrating her 69th birthday with cake and a few…interesting revelations. She casually drops a bombshell: she believes a bakery might have politely declined her pastry order—all because of her politics! Yes, apparently, cakes have gone partisan now.
Here’s the scoop:
According to Whoopi, she called up a bakery (mystery bakery, mind you—she’s not giving out names) and was denied service. The reason? Well, Whoopi suggested it might be because she’s got some, let’s just say, “spicy” political views. Now, before you clutch your pearls, the bakery did have a reasonable-ish excuse: their ovens were down. That’s right—down ovens, the pastry shop equivalent of “the dog ate my homework.”
But Whoopi, being Whoopi, wasn’t entirely buying it. “Maybe it’s the politics thing,” she shrugged, sending fans into a full-blown sleuth mode, desperately hunting for the elusive pastry purveyor. Within minutes (okay, maybe hours, but you get the point), internet detectives cracked the case. They identified the bakery as Holtermann’s Bakery.
The Bakery Owner Speaks Out
When reached for comment, Jill Holtermann, the owner, sounded baffled and mildly exhausted. “Politics? I don’t have time for that; my boilers were on the fritz!” she said. You see, Jill’s bakery runs on some vintage machinery from 1930, meaning the building is basically a historic relic that’s as temperamental as a diva on the red carpet. “I just didn’t want to promise cakes and then serve, I don’t know, raw dough,” Jill explained with the weary sigh of a woman who’s probably had enough muffin mix-ups for a lifetime.
To Bake or Not to Bake: A Mystery Unresolved
Jill made it clear: “Whoopi, it’s not you, it’s my boiler.” Now, whether this was a true oven emergency or just a convenient excuse remains unsolved. After all, can you really blame anyone for getting a bit baked out when politics is a constant part of their workday?
