TikTok Ban Delayed Again Because America Still Needs Its Daily Dose of Dances, Drama, and Duets

Buy Me A Coffee

BREAKING: TikTok has survived yet another attempt to be yeeted off American phones. The app has officially entered its “I’m not leaving!” Jonah Hill era. 🕺📱💅

On Friday (April 4), former President Donald Trump—yes, that guy—is back in the headlines after giving TikTok a second stay of execution. This time, he’s gifting ByteDance (TikTok’s Chinese parent company, not a new Coachella DJ) 75 more days to find an American sugar daddy to keep the app alive on U.S. soil.

“My Administration has been working very hard on a Deal to SAVE TIKTOK,” Trump posted on Truth Social, where all uppercase words live their best lives.

Translation: The man who once tried to ban TikTok is now its unlikely knight in spray-tanned armor.

See also  Noelle Cheney, TikTok Influencer, Apologizes to Subway Worker for Ridiculing Sandwich

He continued:

“The Deal requires more work,”—which is presidential code for “The lawyers are still Googling how to make this legal.”

“We do not want TikTok to ‘go dark,’” he added, in a very serious tone, as if TikTok is a life-saving utility and not an app where people pretend to be NPCs for coins.

Let’s be real—nobody wants TikTok to go dark. Where else are we supposed to get our daily serotonin hits via 30-second conspiracy theories and people accidentally setting their kitchens on fire for views?

See also  Gypsy Rose Blanchard Reveals The Worst Thing Her Mother Did To Her

Meanwhile, Amazon tried to slide into the DMs of this deal, but according to NBC News, their bid was fashionably late—like, “showing up to brunch when everyone already ordered” late.

ByteDance still hasn’t RSVP’d to any U.S. buyer, but Trump is feeling shockingly optimistic about the app’s future.

“There’s tremendous interest in TikTok,” he said, probably while watching someone do the Renegade. “I’d like to see TikTok remain alive.”

Okay, Shakespeare.

See also  Donald Trump's Older Sister Maryanna Trump Barry Dies at 86

Even Vice President JD Vance chimed in earlier in March, sounding like every group project leader in college:

“The deal will be clear. The paperwork? Thousands of pages. Literal forests will die for this.”

Fun fact: Trump originally hit TikTok with a “You’re not welcome here” executive order back in 2020, but apparently he’s been on a redemption arc since January 2025. We love a full-circle moment.

So for now, TikTok lives on. Keep lip-syncing. Keep thirst-trapping. And keep that For You Page messy, chaotic, and gloriously unhinged—just how the Founding Fathers would’ve wanted.

Comments area

Sidebar

Must Read

Kristen Stewart Talks About Bella’s Character From ‘Twilight’

So, picture this: Kristen Stewart, the queen of nonchalant...

Bad Bunny Has Joined The Cast Of ‘Happy Gilmore 2’

The universe has officially gone mad: Bad Bunny—yes, the...

Kelly Clarkson Talks About Beyonce Being Snubbed By The Country Music Awards

Kelly Clarkson is dishing out some hilarious wisdom on...

You Might Also Like

Why Ed Sheeran Would Rather Wrestle a Bear Than Headline the Super Bowl Halftime Show

So apparently, Ed Sheeran—the human acoustic guitar and cinnamon...

Former Governor Andrew Cuomo Says “Cancel Culture” Caused His Resignation

Andrew Cuomo, you know, the ex-governor of the Empire...

All About Matthew Perry’s Cause of Death

Matthew Perry's unexpected exit from this world left fans...

Vanessa Hudgens Addresses Body Shamers

Hold onto your hats because Vanessa Hudgens is throwing...

Chet Hanks Poses With Dad Tom Hanks in Rare Photo

Chet Hanks recently had a hilarious hangout session with...

Hailey And Justin Bieber Spend A Romantic Date Night At A Spa In Beverly Hills

New parents Justin and Hailey Bieber have discovered the...

Bella Hadid And Boyfriend Adan Banuelos Spend The Day In NYC, Bella Holds Him Close

Bella Hadid, the 27-year-old runway queen, lassoed her cowboy...

Jack Antonoff Says This Taylor Swift Song Made Him Feel “Punched in the Gut”

In a world where musical magic happens, Jack Antonoff...

Angelina Jolie Reveals She Didn’t Sing For Years After An Ex Told Her She Couldn’t

Move over, Maria Callas—Angelina Jolie is officially stepping into...