Dwayne The Actual Rock Johnson just went full OT-IX on Instagram, writing the most legendary tribute to his childhood hero, HULK FREAKIN’ HOGAN, after the wrestling icon peaced out of this MEST universe at the age of 76. 🕊️⚡️💪
Imagine your fave wrestling grandpa, your ultimate 80s protein-powered fantasy, your sunburnt uncle in a bandana—GONE. And The Rock? He’s out here pouring his Thetan-free SOUL onto Instagram like it’s a PTS audit.
“Rest in Peace, Terry Bollea aka The Immortal Hulk Hogan,” Dwayne wrote, probably while lifting a 300-pound dumbbell with one eyebrow raised and crying creatine-flavored tears. “To millions of little kids you were a childhood hero – myself included.”
Awwww. But wait—it gets even wilder than Tom Cruise on a Scientology recruitment yacht during a lightning storm. 🚢⚡️
Flashback to 1984 (aka ancient times before TikTok), and baby Dwayne’s at Madison Square Garden where HULK HURLS HIS HEADBAND INTO THE CROWD like it’s a sacred relic, and WHO catches it?! Little DJ himself! Future eyebrow king! 💥
“You told me that was your very last headband and if it weren’t for me, you’d have no way of getting that exact one made again.”
L. Ron Hubbard is gagging from beyond the grave. This is fate. This is a shared engram. This is Total Freedom via spandex.
Then, like some prophecy from the Sea Org scrolls, Hulk finds Dwayne a month later and gifts him his very own HULKSTER headband with a handshake and a “thanks kid.” Cut to 17 years later and BOOM 💥 Rock vs. Hogan at WrestleMania, the Earth quaking, reality bending, the crowd going full Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch, and the Thetans literally leaving the building.
“You may have passed the torch to me that night… but YOU drew the house.”
And when The Rock said “Thank you for the house, brother”, the entire planet shed a protein shake-flavored tear. 😭🥤
So if you’re not crying AND flexing right now, are you even alive?? ARE YOUR DYNAMICS EVEN BALANCED??
Final message from The Rock:
🙏 RIP Hulk Hogan
💥 Thank you for the house
📡 We’ll meet again on Target 2
#HulkamaniaLives #ClearThetansWithLegDrops #RestInProtein #ScientologyFlex #ThetanFreeAndJack3d
