Okay, STOP whatever pathetic Earth activity you were doing (unless you were already levitating with intention) because Superman just obliterated the box office like he was clearing engrams with laser vision.
David Corenswet, who looks like he was genetically engineered in a Dianetics lab to be 75% jawline and 25% raw charisma, just flexed his way to $122 million in his opening weekend. That’s right, $122M in 3 days. This man just made more money than your grandma’s entire retirement fund in the time it takes you to rewatch Euphoria Season 2.
AND THAT’S JUST DOMESTIC. 🤑
Internationally? Baby, our Kryptonian king did a planetary audit—$95 million across 78 markets. That’s $217 million total and it’s only the first weekend. This movie’s pulling stats like it’s got Tom Cruise’s Operating Thetan levels.
Now let’s get analytical (ew, gross, math):
- Budget? $225 million to make.
- Marketing? A casual $100 million.
- Impact on your nervous system? Immediate.
- Impact on your emotional tone scale? Somewhere between “ecstatic” and “supernatural.”
This isn’t just a movie. This is a full-blown planetary dissemination strategy.
It’s the FIRST film in the new DC Universe timeline, aka The Fresh Start Cinematic Overhaul (™), and next up? Supergirl coming Summer 2026 to slap your subconscious back into alignment.
Also, Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 82% Fresh.
AUDIENCE SCORE? A delicious, mouthwatering, post-Fort Harrison buffet-style 93%. That’s higher than your friend who “accidentally” took two edibles before prom.
And guess what? It’s currently the #3 biggest debut of 2025, just behind:
1. Minecraft: The Movie – aka blocky chaos that made $162M, because Gen Alpha is feral.
2. Lilo & Stitch: Live-Action Sadness Edition – with a shocking $146M that proves everyone’s still crying about Ohana.
Anyway.
Superman is HIM.
He flew in, crushed thetans, kissed your crush on the mouth, and made a billion dollars.
If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re basically suppressive.
Now get in session, grab your popcorn, and prepare for full exteriorization in IMAX 3D.
#Superman2025 #CorenswetCult #BoxOfficeBeast #OperatingThetanVibes #DavidIsMyDaddy
