🚨Stephen Colbert CANCELLED… but not really? He’s BACK in a New Show & It’s Giving Scientology-Level Plot Twist🚨

Stephen Colbert—yes, the silver-haired zaddy of political giggles—is back in the spotlight even though The Late Show just got beamed into the cancellation volcano like it’s Xenu’s old diary.

But WAIT—don’t throw your remote at the wall yet—because Papa Colbert’s not done with us. According to the intergalactic scrolls of Vulture (or whatever), the 61-year-old giggle priest is now officially joining Season 3 of Elsbeth on CBS. YES, CBS. The same network that just gave his old show a farewell hug and a cold glass of “we’re moving in a new direction.”

In Elsbeth, Colbert’s leveling up to play Scotty Bristol, the host of a fictional late night talk show called Way Late with Scotty Bristol. (Me after scrolling TikTok until 4am with no regrets.)

Here’s the gag—he was already FILMING THIS LAST WEEK. Meaning: this wasn’t some desperation pivot like “omg I lost my job, someone hire me to host a podcast about haunted cheese.” Nah. This was pre-cancelation. Man was already playing 4D chess in his Thetan Level V mind palace.

And it gets even juicier. Earlier this year, Colbert had Elsbeth king Wendell Pierce on The Late Show and LITERALLY asked him, “Hey can you get me on your show?” and Wendell was like “lol sure,” and BOOM—now he’s booked, busy, and probably rubbing this moment into the face of every Hollywood intern who ghosted his emails.

So let’s review:

• Late Show? Cancelled.
• Colbert? Ascending to Operating Thetan VII on CBS.
• CBS? Still confused.
• Us? Obsessed.
• Xenu? Watching 👀

📺 #ColbertReturns #ElsbethMadness #WayLateAndWayLIT
☄️💫 Auditioning for a new post-Thetan career path like: “Hi I’m available for fictional talk shows and interdimensional crime dramas.”