BREAKING: Shannon Sharpe has officially hit the pause button on his ESPN gig — possibly the only thing more heated than his debates with Stephen A. Smith — and this time, it’s not over LeBron vs. MJ. No, it’s much messier.
The 56-year-old walking meme, protein shake enthusiast, and First Take co-host is stepping away from the sports network after being hit with a $50 million civil lawsuit alleging sexual assault. Yeah, that’s not the kind of “first take” anyone wants.
Sharpe has denied everything with the energy of someone being blamed for something at a family cookout: “It wasn’t me!” He released a statement that basically said, “That relationship was 100% consensual, pinky promise.”
“I’m stepping aside to focus on my family and respond to these false, disruptive allegations,” he wrote, likely while sipping from a mug labeled “World’s Best Undisputed Host.”
“I plan to return in time for the NFL preseason, because nothing heals scandal like a solid segment on Joe Burrow’s passing stats.”
Meanwhile, ESPN released their own corporate-speak word salad, saying they “agree with Shannon’s decision” to step away. Translation: “Good call, buddy. Don’t let the door hit you on the way to the lawyer’s office.”
Enter Tony Buzbee, the accuser’s attorney and part-time chaos goblin. He dropped some audio receipts that allegedly feature Sharpe saying things like, “I might choke you in public,” and “If you say that again, I’m going to f—king choke the sh— out of you.” We don’t know if this was supposed to be roleplay, a threat, or an out-of-context audition for the next Fast & Furious villain. Either way, yikes.
Sharpe’s lawyer, Lanny J. Davis — who sounds like he should be wearing a bowtie and defending cartoon cats — fired back by releasing even spicier text messages from the accuser. These messages allegedly include phrases like:
“Put a dog collar around my neck and choke me with it while you’re f—king me.”
So, uh… yeah. This case has now veered into 50 Shades of Confusion. Davis says this whole lawsuit is just a $50 million “shakedown,” which would officially make it the most expensive roleplay misunderstanding in U.S. history.
To add even more seasoning to this already messy gumbo, Stephen A. Smith — the Patron Saint of Loud Opinions — addressed the drama on his podcast, sounding like someone trying really hard not to say anything that’ll get him sued.
“I recruited Shannon, but I’m not the boss, OK? Jimmy Pitaro is. That’s my boss. I’m just here to yell about sports and wear sharp suits.”
Stephen A. then name-dropped Disney co-chairman Jimmy Pitaro, who basically gave the corporate version of: “We’re looking into it. Please stop asking us things.”
So now, we wait. Will Shannon Sharpe return in time for football season with more commentary and fewer headlines? Will ESPN replace him with a cardboard cutout of Skip Bayless just for the drama? Will someone please make a documentary out of this?
Stay tuned — this saga is far from over, and frankly, it’s wilder than anything on NFL RedZone.
— shannon sharpe (@ShannonSharpe) April 24, 2025