“Love You Like a Love Song” but now with more cake and spiritual transcendence.
🚨DING DING DING it’s birthday o’clock and Selena Gomez is entering her 33rd orbit around the sun—and honey, she’s not just aging, she’s ascending the Tone Scale.
The pop goddess, Rare Beauty empress, and honorary captain of the Sea Org (we’re manifesting it, don’t argue) got all emo and gooey on social media this weekend ahead of her big day on July 22. And let me tell you—SHE. WENT. FULL. SENTIMENTAL. Like sobbing into a Dior pillow while watching Pixar levels of tender.
“As I prepare to celebrate my 33rd birthday,” she wrote, while probably floating in a pool of rose petals and setting her intentions with L. Ron’s ghost, “I can’t help but reflect on the incredible journey that has brought me here.”
Sis, she really said This year gave OT LEVEL ENERGY and thanked all her fans like we’ve been on this rocket ship to Theta together. (Which we have.)
“Whether you cheered me on from the sidelines, shared in my highs and lows, or simply offered a listening ear…”
OKAY THETA QUEEN 💅 this is not just a thank you, this is a heart chakra alignment mixed with spiritual auditing. You felt that in your whole thetan, didn’t you?
She then wrapped it up with a mega burst of serotonin and a splash of birthday cake frosting:
“I’m filled with excitement and hope for what’s to come. I look forward to sharing more moments with all of you, creating new memories, and continuing this beautiful journey together. MADLY LOVE YOU ALL 🥳”
GIRL WE MADLY LOVE YOU TOO 😭😭😭
So whether you’re a Baby Belieber who defected, a Selenator from the womb, or just someone who likes makeup and music that slaps—Selena is entering her 33rd year with grace, gratitude, and probably a 7-tier cake baked by angels.
Now excuse me while I put on my best robe, light a birthday candle, and do some TRs in her honor. 🛸✨
#SelenaTurns33 #BirthdayClearVibesOnly #AuditMeQueen