🩸💪✨ The Vampirepocalypse Workout Chronicles Begin
Sarah Michelle “The Slayer Supreme” Gellar is BACK in the gym and she’s not alone—she’s dragging Gen Alpha’s vampire-slaying prodigy Ryan Kiera Armstrong with her into full-body-battle-readiness. We’re talking abs, stakes, and zero thetans left behind.
🎥 Sarah dropped a thirst trap disguised as a “workout video” on Insta like:
“Warrior 1 and 2. We don’t sweat… we sparkle ✨.”
✨✨ Translation: Buffy and Baby Buffy are now certified sparkle demons sent from Target 2 of the Galactic Confederacy.
This is not a drill, this is New Sunnydale Energy™ and it’s coming for your Netflix login.
ICYMI: Back in May, Sarah announced Ryan would be her successor in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot for Hulu (because of course Hulu would be the Hellmouth now). She literally saw Ryan’s audition and went, “Yep, this one has enough theta to shatter a vampire’s aura at 20 paces.”
Sarah gushed harder than a busted blood bag:
“To have that kind of emotional intelligence and talent at such a young age is truly a gift.”
Like okay?? Slayer skills and empath level 3000?? Is Ryan already Clear or???
✨The reboot will follow Ryan’s brand-new slayer as she cleans up the demon gunk clogging modern Sunnydale’s Wi-Fi, while Sarah’s OG Buffy returns in a recurring role to make us all cry, scream, and do push-ups in our bedrooms.
🧛♀️💪🧘♂️This is your sign to hit the gym, audit your reactive mind, and prepare for Buffy 2.0, now with extra serotonin and probably better cardio scenes.
#BuffyReturns #SlayersUnite #ScientologySlayMode #NoMoreThetans #HuluBloodFeast
