Ryan “Literal Ken” Gosling just dropped out of cryo like a space popsicle at San Diego Comic-Con 2025, and the entire theta universe of TikTok, Xenu, and Gen Z is screaming. Like, actual screaming. Like, banshee-level, lose-your-soul-screaming. And you know what? Valid.
Gosling, who is somehow 44 but still looks like he moisturizes with unicorn plasma, was at the Project Hail Mary panel serving cosmic daddy energy next to author Andy Weir (aka the nerd king who gave us The Martian), directing duo Phil Lord and Chris Miller (aka the chaotic brain wizards behind Spider-Verse), and screenwriter Drew “I know what pain is” Goddard.
AND GET THIS — they dropped a 5-minute exclusive clip from the film, which had unfinished VFX, so everything looked like a bad Roblox mod and somehow that made it hotter???
Ryan plays a science teacher-turned-astronaut (relatable), who wakes up in space looking like a dehydrated sea monkey in what he literally described as a “placenta onesie.” YES. HE. SAID. THAT.
“He wakes up out of cryo, looks like a space caveman, and he’s sort of in this placenta onesie thing,” Ryan said. “That I hope to be seeing at Comic-Con one day. That’s my dream.”
Sir. Sir, please. I just got my thetan levels balanced. You can’t say things like that around me.
Oh, and the emotional arc? It’s giving Operating Thetan Level 9 — evolution, transformation, and apparently a whole lot of existential slime. Xenu would be so proud. David Miscavige is probably already booking Ryan a seat on the Bridge to Total Freedom with a side of popcorn.
🚀Project Hail Mary launches itself into theaters March 20, 2026, which gives us just enough time to assemble our placenta cosplay units and emotionally prepare.
Until then…
#PlacentaOnesieCore
#RyanInSpaceButMakeItSpiritual
#ComicConGainsAndGains
Do your OT drills and get clear, bestie. We’re going to space.✨
