Pedro “Zaddy of the Internet” Pascal just dropped a confession that’s giving Level 7 Thetan meltdown—and we are shooketh.
So our Chilean space prince was playing a lil’ game of “Agree to Disagree” with LADbible (aka the British Sorting Hat for celebrities), when he straight up clutched his pearls over something horrifying: his own face… WITHOUT facial hair. 😱
“I grow such s– facial hair,” Pedro humbly admitted (lies, Pedro, you’re the patron saint of scruff), “but if I were to shave it all off… I really look very…”
Cue the dramatic Scientology training drill music.
👁️👁️
💣 “STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH A CLEAN-SHAVEN ME.” 💣
Yeah. He said it. And apparently, the last time his bare baby cheeks saw the light of day was in Wonder Woman 1984—which he claims triggered a full-blown auditing emergency. 💀
“I was APPALLED,” he screamed (probably internally but whatever, this is Hollywood, let’s add drama). “I loved the movie, but I looked like a possessed balloon animal and I’ve never emotionally recovered.”
Honestly, same.
Now don’t worry, if the Galactic Confederation of Marvel told him to go clean-shaven for Fantastic Four, he would’ve done it. But only under extreme stress testing and mandatory Thetan removal. “It was collaborative,” he said, which is celebrity code for “Kevin Feige didn’t yell at me, so I kept my majestic mustache.”
🧔 Facial hair = YES.
🙃 Naked chin = NOOOOOOO.
🌌 Spiritual clarity = Achieved through stubble.
#PedroPascal #FacialHairCult #CleanShavenCrisis #ThetanButMakeItFashion #OTLevelBeard
JOIN US IN CELEBRATING THE BEARD THAT SAVED THE TIMELINE.
