Ozzy Osbourne, 74-year-young maestro of chaos, is spilling the beans about his wild health rollercoaster and the ticking countdown on his rock ‘n’ roll clock.
This elder statesman of Black Sabbath has been battling health demons, got a pesky Parkinson’s diagnosis in 2020, played tag with surgeons, and, brace yourself, has spilled the cosmic beans that he’s got a solid decade left on this crazy ride, “at best.”
In a recent chat that probably had more expletives than a pirate convention, the Prince of Darkness opened up about the one thing that has him “freaking ticked off” and his grand finale wish list before taking a cosmic detour.
Ozzy spilled the backstage tea to Rolling Stone UK, confessing he’s majorly bummed he didn’t get to deliver a dramatic exit speech or a last-minute “thanks, you crazy bunch” to his fanbase when he declared his retirement from the touring circus earlier this year.
Now, picture this: the rock deity, in all his bat-chomping glory, dreams of one last epic performance for the die-hard disciples.
“I’m treating life like a game of bingo; one day at a time, and if I still have the mojo, I’ll hit the stage again,” he declared with the gravity of a rock ‘n’ roll philosopher. “But saying goodbye to touring felt like breaking up with the love of my life. At first, I was mad at myself, the doctors, and the universe. But with time, I’ve just gone, ‘Well, maybe I should just embrace the chaos.'”
Whether Ozzy will resurrect on stage is shrouded in mystery, but if he does decide to make a grand entrance, he’s not settling for a lackluster gig.
“I won’t grace the stage as a half-hearted Ozzy fishing for sympathy. What’s the point in that? I’m not rolling up there in a rocking chair. I’ve seen Phil Collins doing his thing recently, and he’s practically my health twin. Dude’s up there in a wheelchair! But that’s not my style.”
“For me, it’s all about the fans. If I can squeeze in a few gigs… These wild creatures have stuck with me through thick and thin. They write to me, they know about my pack of hellhounds. It’s basically my extended crazy family, and they’ve handed me the keys to this madhouse. Whatever the reason, that’s the goal I’m gunning for – those gigs. Whether it’s Ozzfest or some unholy spectacle at the Roundhouse!”
“And if I can’t keep up with the concert rat race, I just want to be in good enough shape to pull off one final show where I can shout, ‘Hey, you maniacs, thanks for this insane ride.’ That’s the endgame, and if I kick the bucket right after, well, I’ll croak a satisfied rock god.”