Plot twist nobody had on their 2025 bingo card: One of the dudes accused in Kim Kardashian’s infamous Paris robbery just pulled the ultimate disappearing act — he died right before the trial. Like, literally right before. Cue the Law & Order “dun dun” sound.
According to underworld insiders (because obviously), Marceau Baum-Gertner — a.k.a. one of the alleged grandpas of crime — passed away on March 6 in Paris. Cause of death? Unclear. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was baguettes. The French authorities are being super mysterious about it, as always.
Marceau, a sprightly 72-year-old (so, basically in Ocean’s 14: Retirement Home), was one of the key players accused of helping a gang yeet $10 million worth of Kim K’s bling during that 2016 hotel room heist. Yes, THE robbery where Kim was tied up, gagged, and probably wondering why she even left Calabasas in the first place.
Fun fact: Kim is still scheduled to take the stand this May. That’s right. Queen’s not backing down, even if the suspects are dropping faster than my Wi-Fi during a thunderstorm.
Meanwhile, one of the other suspects — Yunice Abbas, 71 years young — has already spilled some of the tea. Yunice, bless his heart, straight up admitted he was involved. “I will apologize,” he told the AP, probably while trying to look adorable enough for a lighter sentence. He says he was just a lookout. (Sure, Jan.)
Yunice even got so inspired by the whole experience that he co-wrote a book about it called I Sequestered Kim Kardashian, which is maybe the most French criminal thing ever. Get arrested, spend 21 months in prison, come out, and immediately go full influencer. Respect.
As for the actual loot: Only one diamond-encrusted cross was ever found, casually chilling on a Paris sidewalk the morning after the robbery. Everything else? Vanished. French authorities guess the stolen haul was around $6 million in total. (Kim’s jewelry apparently has better travel plans than any of us.)
Before his unexpected exit stage left, Marceau had been pretty tight-lipped. He refused to name the other people allegedly involved. But insiders say he was this close to singing like a canary if it meant less time behind bars.
Welp, guess we’ll never know. RIP Marceau… and RIP to the tea he took with him.
