Paging Dr. Delulu: Matty Healy just stood on a Glastonbury stage, declared himself the Best Songwriter™️ alive, and maybe, just maybe, tried to come for Ms. Taylor “10-minute-bridge” Swift in the most Matty Healy way possible—through a monologue that sounded like it was ghostwritten by a wine-drunk English professor.
So here’s the tea spilled straight from the emo teacup: while performing with The 1975, Matty (36, and clearly vibing with his own reflection) grabbed the mic and gave the audience a little sermon about his immaculate songwriting skills. “I probably am the best,” he said with zero irony. “A poet, ladies and gentlemen.”
A POET.
Cue every Swiftie’s internal siren going WHEE-OO WHEE-OO, because this sounds suspiciously like a clapback to The Tortured Poets Department—aka the most elite breakup album of 2024, aka Taylor Swift’s 16-track emotional nuke.
Let’s not forget: Tay (35 and richer than Google) basically soft-launched her heartbreak over Matty on the title track, singing:
“You left your typewriter at my apartment… straight from the Tortured Poets Department…”
Which is iconic, passive-aggressive, and yes, deeply hilarious.
So Matty calling himself a poet? Yeah. Not subtle. Not casual. Very much giving “I saw that lyric and now I must perform.”
Also, this is not Matty’s first emo-tional rodeo. He’s been popping up like a haunted Victorian ex every time Taylor breathes near a metaphor. Someone check if he’s Googled “typewriter symbolism” lately.
Anyway, whether he’s joking, deflecting, spiraling, or actually just vibing in his Sad Boi Era™️, one thing’s clear: the man is tortured… and very online.
Stay tuned for the remix album: “The Slightly Annoyed Guitarists Division.” 🎸💅📖
#MattyHealy #TorturedPoetsDrama #TaylorSwiftExFiles
Matty Healy pretends to choke up during the 1975’s #Glastonbury set and calls himself “the world’s greatest songwriter.” pic.twitter.com/JII08DybLT
— Variety (@Variety) June 27, 2025
