Lily Allen, queen of cheeky lyrics and zero-filter commentary, once tried to snag a spot in The White Lotus. Yeah, that HBO fever dream where rich people have meltdowns in paradise. But alas, Lily did not make it to the resort. Not even as the girl yelling at a bellhop about her oat milk cappuccino.
On her podcast Miss Me? (we do, Lily, we do), the 39-year-old singer casually dropped the tea:
“I did a self-tape for The White Lotus and, obviously, did not get it,” she said, like someone explaining why they’re not on Succession—again.
Apparently, it was all her manager’s idea. Classic manager behavior: “You should totally audition for this Emmy-winning show, babe, you’d be perfect as a disgruntled vacationer with unresolved trauma.”
Spoiler again: HBO said no thanks.
But it wasn’t just the rejection that haunted her—it was the taping part.
“I think I’m a bit scared of doing self-tapes,” she admitted. “Back in the day I didn’t like the idea of casting officers having a tape of me in case they would share it with other people.”
So basically, Lily thought her audition tape might go viral for all the wrong reasons—like that one time you post a thirst trap and immediately regret everything.
Now though? She’s chill about it.
“Maybe now I would do them because I don’t think people give as much of a s–t about me anymore,” she said, casually drop-kicking her ego across the room. “I don’t really care.”
That’s the spirit. True millennial apathy meets grown-up DGAF energy.
Even though she didn’t get cast as “Woman with Baggage (Literal and Emotional),” the “Not Fair” icon says she learned a thing or two.
“I want to put myself out there a little bit more,” she said. “Be a bit braver with doing self-tapes and going up for auditions and stuff.”
Lily, we support this journey. If you ever land a role on The White Lotus, we’ll be there, drink in hand, yelling, “SHE’S THE REASON I CAME BACK FOR SEASON 5!”
Until then, keep being the chaotic, self-aware legend we never auditioned for—but desperately needed.
