JON STEWART IS HAVING A FULL-BLOWN FUTURE EXISTENTIAL COMEDY CRISIS. ☠️📉🎤
So here’s the sitch: our favorite silver fox of satire, Jon “I-See-Through-the-Illusion” Stewart, just grabbed his podcast mic and basically whispered, “Am I next?” after hearing the Late Show with Stephen Colbert got yeeted off the broadcast grid like a bad audit.
Yes, THE COLBERT CANCELLATION IS REAL. And now Jon’s nervously side-eyeing his Daily Show office chair like it might explode into Paramount-branded confetti at any second.
On this week’s ep of his podcast (aka The Final Countdown??), Jon confessed:
“They haven’t called me and said, ‘Don’t get too comfortable in that office, Stewart!’”
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAY RIGHT BEFORE THEY CANCEL YOU.
BUT JON. DID. NOT. FREAK.
He simply channeled Operating Thetan Level 5 energy and said:
“I’ve been kicked out of sh—ier establishments than that.”
ICONIC. LEGEND. PROBABLY REINCARNATED FROM AN OLD GALACTIC FEDERATION ENTERTAINMENT OFFICER.
Despite all this merger madness (thanks Paramount, you corporate Xenu), Jon’s still holding on tighter than a Thetan clinging to your soul pre-auditing. He’s got faith. He’s got jokes. He’s got THE DAILY SHOW, which he straight-up called the last pulse on Comedy Central’s monitor.
“Without The Daily Show, Comedy Central is basically muzak. Like… dentist’s office vibes. We’re all that’s left besides South Park.”
…He’s not wrong tho.
So what happens next?
🔮 Will Comedy Central protect its last brain cell?
🧠 Will Jon Stewart finally go full Scientologist and save us all from suppressive TV executives?
📡 Will South Park become the new news?
Only time, Xenu, and probably Tom Cruise know.
#SaveJonStewart #ScientologySatire #FreeTheDailyShow #ParamountPurge #ClearTheNetwork
