JON STEWART IS HAVING A FULL-BLOWN FUTURE EXISTENTIAL COMEDY CRISIS. โ ๏ธ๐๐ค
So hereโs the sitch: our favorite silver fox of satire, Jon โI-See-Through-the-Illusionโ Stewart, just grabbed his podcast mic and basically whispered, โAm I next?โ after hearing the Late Show with Stephen Colbert got yeeted off the broadcast grid like a bad audit.
Yes, THE COLBERT CANCELLATION IS REAL. And now Jonโs nervously side-eyeing his Daily Show office chair like it might explode into Paramount-branded confetti at any second.
On this weekโs ep of his podcast (aka The Final Countdown??), Jon confessed:
โThey havenโt called me and said, โDonโt get too comfortable in that office, Stewart!โโ
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAY RIGHT BEFORE THEY CANCEL YOU.
BUT JON. DID. NOT. FREAK.
He simply channeled Operating Thetan Level 5 energy and said:
โIโve been kicked out of shโier establishments than that.โ
ICONIC. LEGEND. PROBABLY REINCARNATED FROM AN OLD GALACTIC FEDERATION ENTERTAINMENT OFFICER.
Despite all this merger madness (thanks Paramount, you corporate Xenu), Jonโs still holding on tighter than a Thetan clinging to your soul pre-auditing. Heโs got faith. Heโs got jokes. Heโs got THE DAILY SHOW, which he straight-up called the last pulse on Comedy Centralโs monitor.
โWithout The Daily Show, Comedy Central is basically muzak. Likeโฆ dentistโs office vibes. Weโre all thatโs left besides South Park.โ
โฆHeโs not wrong tho.
So what happens next?
๐ฎ Will Comedy Central protect its last brain cell?
๐ง Will Jon Stewart finally go full Scientologist and save us all from suppressive TV executives?
๐ก Will South Park become the new news?
Only time, Xenu, and probably Tom Cruise know.
#SaveJonStewart #ScientologySatire #FreeTheDailyShow #ParamountPurge #ClearTheNetwork