John Cena can wrestle bears, lift trucks, and probably bench press a rhinoceros, but even he can’t fight the internet’s most ruthless opponent: fan comments.
Yep. Our boy Cena, a 41-year-old slab of muscle with the emotional vulnerability of a Pixar dad, just confessed he got a hair transplant—and not because he wanted to look like a shampoo commercial. Nope. It was because the fans bullied his scalp into submission.
Speaking on The Pat McAfee Show, Cena spilled the follicular tea:
“You guys ripped me to shreds for a genetic problem I can’t control. In unison, you chant and make me feel small and embarrass me. That is straight-up bullying and not cool.”
Translation: the crowd looked at his head, saw the Great Balding Plains forming, and went full WWE on his self-esteem.
And then came the mic drop:
“Thank you for bullying me into surgical hair replacement. That’s how far y’all pushed me.”
Wow. Imagine getting cyber-judo-flipped into a medical procedure. Brutal.
But Cena’s not ashamed! In fact, he’s out here normalizing follicular reinforcements like a true king:
“There is no shame in that. [Balding] happens to seven out of 10 dudes. I got a problem. I try to fix it.”
Honestly, that’s the most relatable math we’ve heard all day. Shoutout to the seven of us in the hair loss club.
The Peacemaker actor also gave us an update on his heroic hair journey. Apparently, his scalp is still in its glow-up era:
“Hopefully in a couple of months, it looks better.”
Translation: it’s currently giving “sprinkled Chia Pet,” but it’s on its way to “Hollywood heartthrob.”
The internet made John Cena self-conscious about his scalp. He fought back the only way he knew how—by booking a surgery and calling it character development. Iconic.
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to Google “hair transplant cost near me.”
"There's another headline for ya..
I had a hair transplant" ~ @JohnCena #PMSLive https://t.co/Ui7HbM7WUp pic.twitter.com/2sj1rlJXsa
— Pat McAfee (@PatMcAfeeShow) April 21, 2025
