Jennifer “Still Got It at 56 and Could Take Your Man” Aniston has officially HARD-LAUNCHED her new boyfriend, Jim Curtis — a real-life hypnotherapist/life coach/possible space warlock — on the streets of New York City… separately. That’s right. SEPARATELY. Which in celebrity language means they’re basically engaged.
Jen popped out of her hotel looking like the goth CEO of a billion-dollar incense empire, dressed head-to-toe in black and radiating pure Operating Thetan energy. She was joined by her eternal BFF Jason Bateman (aka high-ranking suppressive person energy neutralizer) and his two daughters, Francesca and Maple, which are elite Beverly Hills-approved child names.
Meanwhile, Jim Curtis — and listen to this, because it’s wild — was seen rocking a yellow button-down, jeans, and A CANE. Not because he needs it, no no. That cane? It’s giving emotional support wand. It’s giving “I just descended from Target 2 with wisdom from LRH himself.”
ICY COSMIC TEA: These two lovebirds were first spotted straight-up canoodling in España, like some kind of Mediterranean soap opera side quest. Jim even wrote about the whole thing in his newsletter?? Who even reads newsletters? Jim’s fans, apparently. Or should we say… his pre-clears.
Anyway, this relationship is certified bonkers in the best way. A life coach and an actress walk into a hotel separately and leave separately but are still deeply in love?? That’s not a romcom, that’s a whole auditing session.
Has Jennifer finally found her spiritual twin flame?
Is Jim Curtis secretly a Scientology Level VIII OT?
Did Jason Bateman bring snacks???
Stay tuned. More updates as soon as Jen levitates.
#AuditThatLove
#CaneDaddyEnergy
#OperatingThetansOnly 🔥🌕💫
