🚨 JEFF BEZOS’ WEDDING IS GIVING LUXURY COSPLAY: $10K/NIGHT HOTEL, A YACHT CALLED “KORU,” & POSSIBLY GHOSTS?! 🚨

Jeff “I-Went-to-Space-And-Still-Came-Back-Bald” Bezos and his queen of helicopter entrances, Lauren Sánchez, are allegedly throwing the wedding of the millennium in VENICE. Yes, that Venice. The one with the gondolas, pasta, and way too many pigeons.

Word on the digital streets (aka TMZ) is that the power couple has rented out the Aman Venice hotel—aka a 16th century palace that now functions as a sleepover spot for billionaires who think Airbnb is for peasants. Prices start at “just” $10,000 a night. You know, something casual. Just your average “I want to eat risotto next to a haunted oil painting” experience.

📅 Wedding watch is officially on: the hotel’s locked down from June 25–29, meaning something iconique is about to go down. The actual ceremony location is still giving “mystery box,” but rumors are bouncing harder than a Kardashian contour blender. Will they say “I do” in a Renaissance palace? On a gondola surrounded by dramatic violinists? Or… on Koru—Jeff’s $500M mega yacht that’s literally just floating in Croatia like, “Pick me, choose me, marry me”?

ICYMI: Jeff proposed to Lauren on Koru, so this floating city of sin has major emotional lore. It’s giving luxury Titanic but with less iceberg and more Amazon Prime.

Either way, expect celebs, champagne, secret Illuminati handshakes, and enough Botox to preserve the moment forever. And if we don’t get a drone flyover of Oprah catching the bouquet? We riot.

#BezosWedding #RichPeopleThings #AmazonPrimeMarriage