Jeff Bezos Explains Why He’s Ending Presidential Endorsements At The Washington Post

Jeff Bezos has officially announced that The Washington Post will no longer be endorsing presidential candidates. Yes, you heard it right! No more political endorsements, which means no more “I can’t believe they picked THAT candidate” gossip at your next brunch.

The Amazon overlord, who has been the proud owner of the newspaper since 2013, decided to block the WaPo team from throwing their political hat into the ring, leaving many to wonder if the editorial staff was busy preparing a glowing review for Kamala Harris. Or maybe they were just trying to bake cookies—who knows?

See also  Whoopi Goldberg Slams Rumor That She Visited Jeffrey Epstein's Island

“I want to be super-duper clear,” Bezos stated, probably while simultaneously ordering 100,000 more robots to deliver his coffee. “No quid pro quo. No deals. I didn’t have any chats, meetings, or even a ‘Hey, let’s talk politics’ text message with any candidate. This was all me!”

In an op-ed piece that dropped like a surprise Amazon package on a Friday night, Bezos explained that he’s on a mission to enhance the newspaper’s credibility by taking a step back from the political spotlight. “Let’s face it, presidential endorsements are about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine,” he wrote. “No undecided voter in Pennsylvania is going to read, ‘Oh look, Newspaper A supports Candidate X. Guess I’m voting for them!’ Spoiler alert: it’s not happening.”

See also  Insider Reveals How Travis Scott Could've Avoided Miami Arrest

Since the announcement, more than 200,000 readers have reportedly hit “unsubscribe” on their digital subscriptions like it was a bad Tinder date. Bezos, meanwhile, took a moment to reflect on his empire, saying, “You can either see my wealth as a superhero shield protecting against intimidation or as a tangled web of ‘Oops, I did it again!’ conflicting interests. It’s really up to you.”

See also  Lauren Sanchez Made Her Met Gala Debut While Jeff Bezos Skipped The Red Carpet

He confidently proclaimed, “I assure you my decision is principled, and if you think I’ve ever used my power to sway The Post, you must be confusing me with someone who actually has time for shenanigans. Look through my 11-year track record as owner; you won’t find me running around yelling, ‘Do it for Jeff!’”

Bezos might just be onto something. After all, who needs endorsements when you’ve got Amazon’s “customers also bought” feature?

Must Read

Hulu Scraps Upcoming Reality Series Starring Diddy

Breaking News: Diddy's Hilarious Family Reality Show Bites the...

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s Son’s Birth Certificate Revealed

The latest scoop on Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's...

Fraudster Anna Delvey Reveals How She Was Permitted To Compete On ‘Dancing With The Stars’

In today’s edition of "What Is Even Happening Anymore?",...

Teyana Taylor Smuggles Food Into the Met Gala But Hasn’t Been Banned Yet

Guess what? Teyana Taylor spilled the beans on her...

‘Bridgerton’ Showrunner Reveals When Season Four Will Return

Season three of Bridgerton has just wrapped up, but...

Jessica Biel Drops Out Of ‘The Good Daughter’ Series Adaptation On Peacock

Jessica Biel just pulled a dramatic mic drop and...

Orlando Bloom Says He Lost Over 50 Pounds For His Role In ‘The Cut’

Orlando Bloom is no longer just the elf that...

Benny Blanco Talks Marriage And Kids With Girlfriend Selena Gomez

Prepare yourself for a wild ride through the whimsical...

You Might Also Like
Related

TikTok Influencer Maddy Baloy Dies From Cancer

So, brace yourselves for a rollercoaster of emotions. Maddy...

Alyson Hannigan Opens Up About Losing 20-Pounds After ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Breaking news from the dance floor: Alyson Hannigan spills...

Kamala Harris Reacts To The Washington Post Stopping Endorsement Of Presidential Candidates

Vice President Kamala Harris has officially entered the chat,...

Travis Kelce Talks About His Spotty Start To The NFL Season

The Chiefs’ very own 34-year-old tight end, Travis Kelce,...

Lily Allen’s New Dog Ate Her Family’s Passports, So She Returned Her

You’re Lily Allen, international pop star, living your best...

Fans Slam Websites And Social Media For Sharing Photos Of Liam Payne’s Dead Body

In heartbreaking news, Liam Payne, former One Direction heartthrob...

Gypsy Rose Blanchard Reveals The Worst Thing Her Mother Did To Her

Prepare to be entertained by the wild and wacky...

The New York Jets Fire Head Coach Robert Saleh

The New York Jets have made a move that...