Jay-Z’s legal squad is pulling out all the stops—like a magician at a kid’s birthday party—to make the rape case against him vanish into thin air! That’s right, the Roc Nation boss is enlisting the help of his lawyer, Alex Spiro, who filed some very serious paperwork on December 30 that reads like a legal version of “The Time Traveler’s Wife.”
So, what’s the game plan? Well, Spiro claims that the alleged assault happened months before a shiny new law, the Victims of Gender-Motivated Violence Protection Act (try saying that five times fast), was even on the books! Apparently, they’re banking on the idea that if you squint hard enough at a calendar, you can totally time travel back to the year 2000 and pretend things didn’t happen. Magic!
This comes hot on the heels of a federal judge in New York giving Jay-Z’s earlier attempts to wipe away claims of him and Sean “Diddy” Combs pulling off some rather questionable antics with a 13-year-old the ol’ heave-ho. I mean, it’s like watching a game of legal whack-a-mole; every time they think they’ve got it down, another one pops right back up!
In his letter to Judge Analisa Torres, Spiro tried to pull the ultimate legal fast one, insisting, “Plaintiff cannot recover because the law wasn’t even a thing when the supposed stuff happened.” So, apparently, time is more important than the allegations? Got it! The defense strategy is officially: “We’re not late; we’re just in a different time zone!”
And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: Jay-Z’s team claims Jane Doe’s chance to sue expired faster than a carton of milk left out on a hot summer day—specifically, by August 2021. Who knew legal arguments could be so… pungent?
Drawing comparisons to a recently dismissed case involving Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler, Spiro’s team argues that New York’s Child Victims Act (CVA) is like the cool kid at school who totally overshadows the GMV Law. Apparently, they’ve also got the CVA on their side, which got an extra 30-month glow-up in 2019, and the courts agree it trumps the GMV Law. It’s like a legal game of rock-paper-scissors, and they’re definitely going for rock!
Now, the lawsuit, filed by Jane Doe, alleges some seriously dark stuff involving a 2000 MTV Video Music Awards afterparty, where she claims Jay-Z and Diddy were the main act. Both rappers have flatly denied these claims, probably hoping to save their careers from becoming a tragic episode of “What Were You Thinking?”
And just last week, Judge Torres ruled that Jane Doe can keep her identity a secret, like a celebrity hiding from paparazzi, even after Jay-Z’s lawyers tried to unmask her faster than a superhero reveal. But don’t get too comfy—the judge hinted she might change her mind as the case progresses. It’s like she’s leaving the door open for a sequel!
Jay-Z’s legal team is working harder than a kid trying to convince their parents they didn’t eat the last cookie, and they’re doing everything they can to keep this case from hitting the headlines. Stay tuned; this legal drama is shaping up to be a wild ride!