Jason Kelce, the human mountain formerly known as an NFL player, has decided to shed some of his rocky exterior now that he’s no longer tackling other human boulders on the field. Yes, the 36-year-old Philadelphia Eagles legend is trading his cleats for, well, slightly smaller cleats.
In a recent heart-to-heart with GQ, Jason divulged his grand plans for deflation, “I weighed 295 for the majority of my NFL career, and I look forward to losing some of those pounds,” he said. Translation: he’s planning to turn from a fortress to, perhaps, a well-fortified townhouse.
But wait, there’s more! The big reveal: Jason’s ultimate dream isn’t to become a wispy twig. Oh no, he has higher (or should I say wider?) aspirations. “I don’t want to get too small. I think a lot of guys, especially offensive linemen, they lose too much weight, and then they look like bobbleheads because their neck gets so small, but their head stays the same size,” he explained. Picture it: a linebacker bobblehead, comically top-heavy, a cautionary tale for all ex-footballers.
Jason’s target is a comfortable 250 to 260 pounds—a range where he can still look intimidating but without the Michelin Man vibe. “Right now, I’m about 277. I’m almost 20 pounds down right now,” he said, presumably eyeing a salad with the enthusiasm of a cat staring down a bath.
He’s optimistic yet realistic about shedding those last 20 pounds, even if his inner voice is whispering, “Yeah, right.” However, the perks are already rolling in like a victory parade: “My back already feels better. My knees already feel better. So another 20 pounds hopefully will make that much more adept at playing with my children.”
So, here’s to Jason Kelce, the soon-to-be svelter version of himself, navigating the post-NFL world one salad at a time. May his journey be filled with laughter, lightness, and fewer bobblehead risks.
