Harry Styles Attends New Pope Announcement, Accidentally Becomes Fashion Pope Instead

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Well, well, well—Harry Styles has entered the Vatican. No, not to become a priest (though we’d totally watch The Vatican Diaries starring Father Harry). The former One Direction heartthrob turned rock god was spotted in St. Peter’s Square this Thursday (May 8), just casually vibing as the Catholic Church announced their newest lead singer—er, Pope. Welcome to the stage, Pope Leo XIV!

Now, before you scream “fanfic,” let’s talk facts. An eagle-eyed fan (probably with binoculars and nerves of steel) snapped a now-viral pic of Harry standing in the middle of the holy hype crowd, dressed like a man who either snuck out of a Berlin rave or was hiding from his own fame. The outfit? A blue jacket, sunglasses big enough to deflect the Holy Spirit, and a grey cap that boldly declared “Techno is My Boyfriend.” (Somewhere, a nun fainted.)

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Is he Catholic? Is he just there for the vibes? Is he launching a Euro techno-gospel album? WHO KNOWS. But the Vatican has never seen so much Gucci energy in one square mile.

To add to the mysterious wanderings of our curly-haired icon, Harry was just seen in Berlin last week chatting with fans, probably asking them where to find the best falafel or maybe philosophizing about the duality of man and his skincare routine.

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Post-Love On Tour, which ran longer than most relationships (22 months, baby!), Harry has been in full ninja mode. He even ran the Tokyo Marathon in March. Like, ran. With his legs. Among 37,000 other sporty humans. Imagine casually jogging past Harry Styles mid-marathon. You’re dying at mile 19 and he’s gliding by like a hydrated gazelle in Nike shorts.

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So is Harry Styles on a European soul-searching trip? Is he forming a secret boyband with the Swiss Guard? Are we about to get a surprise spiritual album called *Holy Watermelon*?

Stay tuned. And if you see a very stylish man at your local holy event, it might be him. Or just a very committed fan. Either way, bless up.

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