Move over, Houdini, because Hannah Kobayashi has officially redefined the art of poof-and-vanish. The 30-year-old is finally speaking out after her headline-making “Where’s Waldo?” moment last month that sent half of America into a detective frenzy.
ICYMI: Hannah was minding her own business, flying from Hawaii to New York like a completely normal human being—until she wasn’t. She missed a connecting flight at LAX, left her phone behind like it was so 2022, and casually decided that Mexico was the vibe. Cue family panic, police searches, and countless internet theories ranging from “Maybe she joined a monastery?” to “She’s obviously starting a taco stand in Tijuana.”
Tragically, while the search for Hannah was underway, her father, Ryan Kobayashi, passed away on November 24 in a heartbreaking turn of events. By December 2, police declared Hannah a voluntary missing person (translation: “She’s off the grid by choice!”), and on December 11, her family got the “Hey, I’m fine, quit calling” text. Fast forward a few days—December 15, to be exact—and Hannah reappeared like she was stepping out of a magician’s hat, crossing back into the U.S. all, “What did I miss?”
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Hannah is speaking out. In a statement shared via People, the adventurer formerly known as “missing” said:
“At daybreak on December 15th, I crossed the border back into the United States. My focus now is on my healing, my peace, and my creativity. I am deeply grateful to my family and everyone who has shown me kindness and compassion during this time.”
Translation: “I’m back, I’ve got priorities, and one of them is definitely not doomscrolling TikTok theories about my whereabouts.”
Hannah continued, spilling the biggest plot twist of all:
“I was unaware of everything that was happening in the media while I was away, and I am still processing it all.”
Girl had no idea we were lighting up group chats, Reddit threads, and Facebook neighborhoods like Christmas trees over her disappearance. Blissful ignorance? Goals.
Hannah wrapped it up with a very polite “Let me live, thanks,” saying:
“I kindly ask for respect for myself, my family, and my loved ones as I navigate through this challenging time. Thank you for your understanding.”
A very 2024 reminder that sometimes you just need a break, a bus to Mexico, and absolutely no cell service. Welcome back, Hannah—hope your creativity is flowing and your passport’s well-rested. The internet can now exhale.
