Fyre Festival 2 Postponed Because Reality Still Exists

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Welp, grab your marshmallows and your emotional support cheese sandwiches, because Fyre Festival 2 has officially been postponed! Yes, the spiritual sequel to the most luxurious disaster of the decade is now on pauseβ€”presumably while organizers look for a city that doesn’t immediately say, β€œAbsolutely not.”

Billy McFarland, the human embodiment of β€œMaybe we shouldn’t,” and the mastermind behind the original Fyre Festival: Hunger Games Edition, has been trying to make a comeback. But surprise, surpriseβ€”organizing a music festival after serving time for, uh, defrauding people at a music festival is apparently harder than expected.

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Earlier this month, the local officials of Playa del Carmen, Mexicoβ€”the rumored site of this new chaos-in-the-makingβ€”basically stood up, adjusted their sunglasses, and said, β€œFyre who? Never heard of her.” They confirmed there was no event planned, no permits issued, and absolutely no Ja Rule sightings. So yeah, not looking good.

Now, ticket holders (aka the hopeful few who still believe in miracles and Billy’s Google Calendar) have started receiving emails that are giving strong β€œHey bestie, we lied” vibes.

β€œThe event has been postponed and a new date will be announced. We have issued you a refund,” the email read, probably written with one hand while the other Googled “how to disappear online.”

β€œOnce the new date is announced, at that time, you can repurchase if it works for your schedule.”

Translation: “We hope you forget this ever happened.”

Meanwhile, the official Fyre Festival website also threw in the towel with a classy:

β€œFYRE 2 Festival is postponed and will be rescheduled for a later date in the future.”

Which is like saying, β€œWe’ll circle back on that, never.”

Shockingly (but also not shockingly at all), Billy and the Fyre Festival social media accounts are quieter than the VIP section at Fyre 1. Not a post. Not a peep. Just digital crickets and unpaid influencers in the distance.

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So until we get another updateβ€”or Netflix drops Fyre Festival 2: This Time It’s Just a Zoom Callβ€”maybe hold off on booking your flight. Or at least make sure the place you’re going to actually knows you’re coming.

Fyre Festival 2 Postponed Because Reality Still Exists

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