🚨 ELON MUSK GETS DRAGGED IN NEW AI MOVIE?? ANDREW GARFIELD IS INVOLVED?? MY THETANS ARE SCREAMING 🚨

Okay okay okay… grab your E-Meter and brace yourself because this next story is giving tone level 40 with a side of popcorn and betrayal. 🎬🍿

So Luca Guadagnino—you know, the man behind the infamous peach incident in Call Me By Your Name—is directing a new movie called Artificial. And no, it’s not about your ex’s personality. It’s about OpenAI, the company that made ChatGPT, which is basically your homework fairy and breakup therapist rolled into one.

Now here’s the part that made my reactive mind jump out of my body and straight into the Sea Org: Elon Musk is in the movie. Well, a version of him. A fictionalized version. Which means YES, the character will probably be tweeting nonsense, inventing space skateboards, and maybe getting ratioed by Grimes in the background.

The main thetan (read: protagonist) is Ilya Sutskever (played by Yura Borisov), the guy who co-founded OpenAI and apparently got backstabbed so hard by Sam Altman, it might’ve registered as an ethics violation. 😵‍💫 Altman in the film is described as a manipulative schemer—which is wild considering he looks like a guy who gets winded opening a jar of peanut butter.

Meanwhile, Elon’s character is a “minor character,” but girl, that doesn’t stop him from catching STRAYS. At one point, Monica Barbaro’s character Mira Murati literally says:

“Elon’s not so bad, as far as dictators go.”

💀💀💀

L. Ron Hubbard himself would’ve dropped his typewriter and yelled “PULL THE STRINGS!!” because this movie is giving full-blown intergalactic drama with a Silicon Valley glaze. You thought The Social Network was spicy? This one’s gonna make Zuckerberg look like a purring house cat.

And get this—AMAZON is funding it. YES. The same company that sends you emotional support phone chargers and anime hoodies at 3AM is now producing a movie that might roast every tech overlord on the planet. Including themselves. That’s like writing a Burn Book and handing it out at your own birthday party. Bold. Chaotic. We love it.

✨FINAL AUDIT✨:
If Artificial lands the way people think it will, it could drop AI’s PR stats to Danger Condition. Scientology-style. KSW that. Word clear it. This movie could literally make us all question if giving computers human-level IQs was, in fact, a dumb-dumb move.

#ArtificialDrama #MuskOnBlast #AuditingMyAlgorithms
Stay tuned, young Operating Thetans. We’re entering a new incident in the tech timeline—and it’s written by Guadagnino. So you already know someone’s crying in a perfectly lit hallway while piano music plays. 🎹💔🤖