Y’ALL. The Diddy trial just hit pause harder than your WiFi during a Netflix binge. 😵💫 On Day 26 of this absolute circus of a courtroom drama, the judge basically came in like, “Yeah, we’re not doing this today. One of our jurors is literally spinning.” 💃🌀
Like… a juror got vertigo on the way to court and had to go home because the courtroom was about to feel like a 4D rollercoaster ride through Diddy’s criminal past. 😮💨 I’m not saying being on this trial is cursed… but I am saying this is the second juror-related flop this week. Is someone out here hexing the jury with Beyoncé’s incense?? 👀🔮
Judge Arun Subramanian told the courtroom “We have a sick juror,” and then noped out of the whole day like it was the first period of school after a McDonald’s breakfast.
Also—no trial tomorrow either ‘cause it’s Juneteenth, aka the one day America actually admits to its shady past, so the courtroom’s closed. ✊🏽✊🏿
FYI: Diddy (aka the artist formerly known as Please Stop Talking About Me Online) is still facing a laundry list of charges that reads like a Netflix docuseries pitch — sex trafficking, racketeering, prostitution, and whatever else they could fit into a federal indictment PowerPoint. 💼💀
Anyway, Brendan Paul (his former assistant and the potential king of tea-spilling) was supposed to take the stand today but will now have to wait to drop the courtroom version of a diss track. 🎤👀
Catch y’all after the trial un-pauses (again) unless the next juror shows up with scurvy or spontaneous combustion. 🔥
#DiddyTrial #JurorDown #VertigoVibes #JusticeOnPause #SomeoneCallScoobyDoo
