Oh boy, Diddy’s day in court is coming up real fast — and let’s just say, things are about to get spicy. According to a proposed jury questionnaire, some of Diddy’s legendary “freak off” tapes (yes, you read that right — freak offs, not dance-offs) might actually be shown to the jury. Imagine being summoned for jury duty and suddenly finding yourself in an accidental audition for Real Housewives of Freakville.
So here’s the tea: Late Friday, Diddy’s legal team dropped a hefty questionnaire that basically asks potential jurors if they’re chill with watching videos that are, uh… NSFW x 1000, including content that involves some adult-level naughty behavior and alleged assault.
Not stopping there, the form also wants to know how jurors feel about people who enjoy, let’s say, romantic variety — a.k.a. people who don’t believe in monogamy or boring Tuesdays.
This paper beast has over 70 questions, plus sub-questions (because one freaky question apparently leads to five more). Prosecutors are not amused and think this whole questionnaire is doing the most, claiming it’s so long and confusing it might just break a few brains.
If you need a refresher on why Diddy’s in court and not on a yacht: he’s facing five criminal charges — including two counts of sex trafficking, two counts of transporting people for prostitution, and one count of racketeering (aka the Mafia starter pack). He pled not guilty to all of them, but the prosecution says he was hosting a series of “freak offs” over the years — think group sex, cameras rolling, and a vibe that definitely wasn’t PG-13.
Meanwhile, rumor has it Diddy might beef up his legal team, possibly by adding big-shot attorney Mark Geragos. When asked, Geragos gave a classic cryptic “I might, I might not” answer — the legal version of a cliffhanger.
Opening arguments are set for May 12. Mark your calendars. It’s gonna be part courtroom drama, part adult-only mini-series, and part How Did We Get Here: The Diddy Chronicles.
Stay tuned, because this trial is about to give Law & Order: SVU a serious run for its money.
