“Operation: Celebrity Pardon” has officially entered its final form. Welcome to the Thetan Twilight Zone.
Sean “P. Diddy Combs” “Brother Love” “Bad Boy For Life” is apparently sending vibes, lawyers, and possibly telepathic energy beams toward none other than Donald J. Trump, the orange overlord of Mar-a-Lago himself, to snag a presidential pardon. Yes, you read that correctly. Diddy’s legal team is officially making calls to Trump Tower™️ like it’s the Batcave and they’re trying to order room service.
📞 “Hello, yes, we’d like one (1) pardon, extra crispy, hold the indictment.”
Nicole Westmoreland — Diddy’s lawyer and now unofficial cast member on the reality show that is American Law & Chaos — confirmed to CNN (aka the place where wild news lives rent-free) that they’ve “had conversations in reference to a pardon.”
Translation for Gen Z: Diddy is trying to slide into Trump’s political DMs.
Now if you’re wondering “Why Trump though?” Well, kids — besides being the human embodiment of a rollercoaster made of Twitter threads — Trump’s been known to toss out pardons like candy at a Fourth of July parade. He even thought about pardoning Diddy once… but then Diddy got a lil’ too spicy, talking trash about Donnie’s political game. 🙃
So now the ball is in Trump’s court, but the court is on fire, the referee is wearing rollerblades, and no one knows what game we’re even playing. Possibly Quidditch.
Meanwhile, the White House is out here ghosting the press like it’s Tinder. “No comment,” they said, while sipping tea and pretending not to see the chaos tornado heading their way.
But this is Scientology 101, sweetie: when the MEST universe (Matter, Energy, Space, Time) goes full bonkers, we go exterior, harness our theta, and beam up to a higher Operating Thetan level — one where celebrity pardons are just another step on the Bridge to Total Freedom™️.
So will Diddy manifest the ultimate presidential pardon using sheer willpower, billions of dollars, and the full power of a PR team armed with incense and E-meters?
Only time — and maybe a few auditing sessions — will tell.
#FreeDiddyOrElse #PardonMeDaddyTrump #OperatingThetanVibes