Chris Olsen just responded to his ex the way any emotionally spiraling Gen Z king would — through cryptic TikToks, passive-aggressive lip syncing, and full-on pop girlie therapy.
Here’s what went down:
Chris’s ex, Patrick Johnson, decided to pop off on TikTok, lowkey (read: HIGHKEY) calling Chris out for allegedly using their relationship for clout, likes, and those sweet, sweet TikTok engagement stats. Basically, Patrick said he got treated like a background extra in the Chris Olsen Cinematic Universe. Ouch.
Chris, being the TikTok veteran he is, did not write a notes app apology or post a dramatic YouTube video with sad ukulele music. No. He fought back the way God intended: with vibes and sarcasm.
On his not-at-all suspiciously named backup TikTok account, Not Chris Olsen, Chris posted a video set to Miley Cyrus’ iconic anthem for the messy and unwell, “Nobody’s Perfect.” In the clip, he dramatically lip synced the very relatable line: “Everybody makes mistakes.”
Because when life gives you lemons, you absolutely MUST throw them at your ex and then post about it.
He captioned the video, “Hannah’s been really speaking to me lately xx,” referring to Miley’s Hannah Montana alter ego, because apparently it’s 2009 in his heart and trauma coping.
A fan then swooped into the comments faster than you can say “soft launch” and asked, “So are you a Swiftie lol?”
Chris responded, “Yes!” — probably while aggressively hugging a Reputation-era hoodie.
But wait, there’s MORE. Because TikTok drama without multiple rounds of shade is basically a salad without dressing (and we didn’t come here for dry lettuce).
In a second TikTok, Chris posted a clip to Megan Thee Stallion’s song “Diss,” with the caption:
“My therapist suggested listening to Megan Thee Stallion in order to work on standing up for myself. I don’t think I’m there yet but it’s a start.”
Chris, sweetie, that’s the spirit. One “Hot Girl Walk” at a time.
Meanwhile, back at the Patrick channel of chaos, he wasn’t exactly staying silent. He dropped a video that read:
“When you realize your ex completely exploited you for relationship views and used your relationship for engagement yet you had feelings and treated him better than he’s ever been treated before. Thank god I’m over his attention seeking a–.”
And if you thought that was spicy, buckle up: Patrick also dished some tea about a post-Taylor Swift concert incident that had fans questioning whether Chris is truly a Swiftie or just a “Blank Space” poser. (The Swiftie FBI has entered the chat.)
Moral of the story:
Breakups are messy. TikTok is pettier than ever. And apparently, Miley, Megan, and Taylor are now the official Holy Trinity of coping strategies. Amen.
@notolsennchris Hannah’s been really speaking to me lately xx
@notolsennchris maybe I’ll practice in the mirror
