It’s time to spill the boiling hot Xenu tea with a side of baby-back ribs. You know Chef from South Park? The smooth-talking snack of a man who taught us how to make sweet love AND meatloaf? Yeah. Him. Turns out he didn’t actually quit the show. He was COSMICALLY BOOTED. 🛸👀
Isaac Hayes III—aka Isaac Hayes Jr. Jr., aka Baby Chef—just popped off on Facebook like a rebel in the Sea Org with a mission. And what he said had our engrams SHOOK.
Apparently, after that Trapped in the Closet episode aired (the one where South Park literally went full OT-III on Scientology), Isaac Hayes Sr. had a stroke. Like… a real one, not a “spiritual bypassing” kind. 😬 And after that, he couldn’t speak, couldn’t sign off, couldn’t even clap back. So guess what? According to his son, SOMEBODY IN THE SCIENTOLOGY CREW QUIT SOUTH PARK FOR HIM. Like… they hijacked the spaceship and ejected him without even asking. Beam me up, betrayal.
Here’s the wild part: Hayes III says all those rumors about his dad being “offended” by the Scientology jokes? Lies. L. Ron Hubbard–sized LIES. Total fiction. A cover-up more intricate than the entire OT level curriculum combined. His dad loved being Chef. Loved the fans. Loved being the funky cartoon daddy with a spatula full of soul. 🍳✨
“He would joke with people who recognized his voice!” Isaac wrote. “He truly enjoyed being part of the show.” Like bro was LIVING HIS BEST BRIDGE-TO-TOTAL-FREEDOM LIFE as a cartoon character, and someone just yeeted that away? Rude.
So to everyone who thought Chef left South Park over “spiritual differences” or “intergalactic copyright issues”—nope. It was a hostile resignation via proxy. The biggest betrayal since Xenu iced the Galactic Confederation.
Let’s just say: This wasn’t a resignation. This was a hostile body snatching. And Chef deserved BETTER. 🛐🖤
#FreeChef #ClearThetanZone #ScientologySpill
