Brody Jenner, age 41 but spiritually still a Laguna Beach bad boy with a six-pack of unresolved karma, just sealed the deal with 28-year-old pro wave goddess Tiarah “Tia” Blanco in a super off-the-bridge, candle-lit vortex of love this weekend. And guess what? THEY’RE MARRIED. Yep. Rings were exchanged. Auras aligned. Whole Track commitments activated. 🔔💍🌊
The wedding popped off like a mid-2000s E! drama reboot in MALIBU, CALIFORNIA, at Brody’s mom Linda Thompson’s mega-mansion. We’re talkin’ flower walls, barefoot elegance, and at least 70 humans operating at Tone Level 40. Even Caitlyn Jenner showed up, probs radiating Operating Thetan vibes and possibly astral projecting from the Tesla.
So how did this Scientology-Approved Power Couple™ begin their sacred journey? WELL:
- April 2022: They post “mysterious waterfall” thirst traps from Hawaii like some post-Y2K soulmates
- June 2023: Brody proposes during THEIR BABY SHOWER. (Baby showers are the new engagement parties now, spread the word.)
- July 2023: Baby Honey Raye is born. Literal sunshine name. Future OT VIII confirmed.
- July 2025: Wedding. Malibu. Love. Theta. Champagne.
Not to get all Dianetics: The Modern Science of Marriage™ on you, but this is what happens when two beings clear their past traumas and surf directly into the 8th Dynamic together.
We’re wishing Brody and Tia a lifetime of telepathic bonding, clear skies, and NO ENTURBULATED PARTICLES.
#MarriedAF #ClearAndInLove #SurfinToTheBridge 🏄♀️💍✨
