We’re diving into some sizzling family drama involving Blake Lively, her not-so-secret weapon of a brother-in-law, Bart Johnson, and the fiery rumors circling her new flick It Ends With Us. Spoiler alert: There’s more tea than a British afternoon.
So, in case you haven’t been glued to every gossip site on the internet (how dare you!), whispers have been flying around like an over-caffeinated pigeon that Blake and her co-star-slash-director Justin Baldoni were feuding behind the scenes of the movie. Yes, people are imagining hair-pulling, passive-aggressive coffee runs, and awkward side-eye on set. However, despite these juicy rumors, both Blake and Justin have been suspiciously silent. No shady tweets. No cryptic Instagram posts. Nada.
Enter Bart Johnson, a man who’s best known for being Blake’s brother-in-law and, of course, Coach Bolton in High School Musical (because once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat). Bart decided it was high time to dip his toes into the choppy waters of these rumors—and boy, did he splash!
Bart took to social media, as all brave knights do these days, to wish Blake a happy birthday. But in a plot twist more dramatic than the entire Gossip Girl series, a fan slid into the comments with an accusation that Blake was promoting “happiness in a domestic violence setting without any regard for victims.” Uh, what now?
Cue Bart, cape flapping in the digital wind, responding with, “I’m really sorry you feel that way,” which is basically the online equivalent of a sympathetic head tilt and a concerned, “Bless your heart.” He continued, “I’m sure you have a huge heart and want the best.” Because who doesn’t love a bit of condescending kindness with their social media spat? Then came the pièce de résistance: Bart cryptically teased, “I can promise you the truth has not come out yet.” Oooooh, the suspense! He followed it up with a heartfelt, “Blake worked harder on this film than anything I’ve seen her do in my entire life,” which must have hit hard considering Blake has managed to make being a mom look easy, and marry Ryan Reynolds without the entire world combusting from jealousy.
Bart wasn’t done though—oh no. He laid it on thick, reminding everyone that the real message is in the book and movie, not in random soundbites from interviews. In other words, “Stop reading into the trailer, Susan!” And yes, in true big-brother-in-law fashion, Bart admitted, “Mistakes were made,” but hey, “I make mistakes in life too.” He added, “But mine aren’t under a microscope,” probably while wistfully staring out a window like a soap opera character.
He wrapped it up with a kumbaya moment, “I got nothing but love for you,” which is always a classy way of saying, “This argument is over because I said so.”
In his birthday ode to Blake, Bart went full sentimental, calling her his bestie for 30 years. He described her as a walking Mother Teresa/Oprah hybrid, out here sprinkling kindness and love like confetti. Oh, and did we mention she’s an “AMAZING wife and mother”? Take that, haters.
So, the moral of the story is: When rumors about your A-list sister-in-law are swirling like a tornado, just throw on your social media cape and serve up some cryptic truths. Bart Johnson, everyone—Coach Bolton, brother-in-law of the year, and the unofficial spokesperson for “things you didn’t know were happening behind the scenes.”
