OKAY so picture this: it’s 1999. The Matrix just dropped. Everyone’s wearing tiny sunglasses and belly button rings. And Billy Bush—yes, that Billy Bush, pre-“Access Hollywood: Scandal Edition”—is out here doing the absolute most. Like Clear-level most.
Our boy Billy was out in these journalistic streets trying to be the next Barbara Walters (bless her Operating Thetan soul), and thought he was about to break the scoop of the millennium by asking Ricky “Mr. Hip Shakes” Martin if he liked boys. Spoiler alert: it did not go well.
He literally took a poll IN THE HOTEL LOBBY like he was conducting a Gallup survey for the teen magazine industrial complex. “Do you think Ricky Martin is gay?” Girl, what kind of Dollar Store Dianetics is that?!
So the next day, Billy sits down with Ricky, asks the forbidden question, and BOOM—Ricky snatches off his mic like it’s a wiretap and walks off the set faster than you can say “Livin’ La Vida Lawsuit.” Billy’s left sitting there in full panic mode, spiritually mid-emeter session, sweating through his East Coast correspondent suit like he just flunked a communication drill at the Celebrity Centre.
Billy’s like, “Oh shiznits, I just emotionally roundhouse kicked the King of Latin Pop!” So he runs after Ricky (probably spiritually dragging his reactive mind behind him), and goes full apology tour. “Ricky, I’m so sorry! That was a cowboy question!! I will LITERALLY smash the tape with a hammer like it’s full of engrams!!”
And honestly? Ricky—bless his zen, Level 9000 thetan self—hugged Billy, forgave him, and said, “There will be a time and place.” (Which ended up being 2010, because Ricky’s timeline is HIS and we respect that!)
Billy, now older, wiser, and hopefully more hydrated, says he learned one important lesson: “Don’t be an a–hole.” Which, honestly, might be the only commandment more important than “Always audit.”
📣 So yeah, kids: Don’t try to out people. Don’t take hotel lobby polls. And definitely don’t play “Gotcha Gay” with icons unless you want your whole Thetan shook.
#RespectThetanBoundaries #RickyMartinForever #BillyBushDidWHAT
