Y’all, Beyoncé just lassoed the world’s attention tighter than a rodeo cowboy on a sugar rush! The Queen Bey herself debuted her Cowboy Carter era during Netflix’s Christmas Day football showdown, and let’s just say… the Texans weren’t the only ones scoring touchdowns that night.
The 43-year-young superstar yee’d her last haw on the NRG Stadium field in Houston, Texas, right in the middle of the Ravens vs. Texans game. And trust me, nobody was thinking about fumbles after this spectacle.
How It All Started: Beyoncé’s Walk-and-Sing Audition for a Western Movie
The show kicked off with a pre-taped segment of Beyoncé strutting through the halls of NRG Stadium like a country diva trying to find the snack bar. She crooned “16 Carriages” like she was auditioning for Yellowstone: The Musical, and the internet collectively asked, “Do we smell an EGOT?”
Next, she slid into “Blackbird” (not that “Blackbird,” Beatles fans—stay seated) with a lineup of country gals so fierce they probably ride horses in heels. Brittney Spencer, Reyna Roberts, Tanner Adell, and Tiera Kennedy joined in, bringing the kind of harmony that could make even a tumbleweed weep.
Let’s Get Live, Y’all!
The pre-taped magic transitioned into Beyoncé storming the field with “Ya Ya” and “My House,” songs that sound like they were written during a heated Monopoly game. By this point, the crowd was more electrified than Christmas lights during a power surge.
But then, plot twist! She went into a medley of “Spaghettii” (yes, with an extra “i” because she’s extra), “Riiverdance” (featuring two i’s for reasons unexplained), and “Sweet Honey Buckin’” alongside her special guest, Shaboozey.
Post Malone, Jeans, and Jolene—Oh My!
Just when you thought it couldn’t get more unhinged, Post Malone emerged like a cowboy who accidentally stumbled into a Coachella lineup. Together, they performed “Levii’s Jeans,” a denim anthem so powerful Levi Strauss himself probably rose from the grave to cheer.
Beyoncé then threw the crowd into a tizzy with “Jolene” (still not that “Jolene,” sorry Dolly fans) and “Tyrant,” a song that’s either about a toxic ex or a really aggressive ranch hand.
Blue Ivy Steals the Show (Again)
The grand finale? Beyoncé belting out “Texas Hold ‘Em,” a bop that somehow made poker sound sexy, while her daughter Blue Ivy Carter appeared as a featured dancer. At this point, Blue Ivy is just casually building her résumé to surpass every human achievement by age 18.
Beyoncé ended the show by ascending into the air on a white platform while a banner with the word “BANG” dramatically unfurled below. The message? Who knows. But the vibe? Iconic.
Beyoncé gave us a halftime performance so campy, so over-the-top, and so Beyoncé, it could only be described as Christmas magic wrapped in rhinestones. Yeehaw, y’all.
