Bad Bunny just served up a cold plate of nope to your North American tour fantasies. In a new interview with Variety, El Conejo Malo basically said, “Catch me in Puerto Rico or not at all, peasants.” 🇵🇷💁♂️
🗣️ The Two Words That Shattered America:
“It’s unnecessary.”
YES. That’s the entire reason he gave for skipping a U.S. tour. No essay. No notes. Just ✌️ vibes and “figure it out, babes.”
🐰 Bad Bunny’s Fantasy? NOT Coachella. Try: Free Concerts for Locals Only
He’s dreaming BIG: massive, free, locals-only ragers in PR. He wants it to be full-on hometown hero mode, and honestly? Respect. But also, jealous sobbing noises from everyone else not on the island.
🏠 “I Miss Home, Y’all” Energy
Apparently, the whole new album era started because Benito felt homesick. “One lyric turned into a novel of emotions,” he said, probably while shirtless and sipping something absurdly exotic. He’s not plotting world domination. He’s just vibing and journaling.
💅 “I’m Not Taylor Swift, OKAY?”
He said what he said. No Eras. No sparkly nostalgia tracks performed in a stadium shaped like a bunny. He literally said, “I’m not Taylor Swift” and “don’t get too excited.” A.K.A. y’all aren’t getting a 3-hour theatrical meltdown with 12 costume changes. You’re getting Debí Tirar Más Fotos and a sprinkling of the hits like glitter on a churro.
🧠 Mental Health? Guarded Like Beyoncé’s WiFi Password
“I protect my mental and heart space, bien cabrón,” Benito said, which loosely translates to: “I don’t mess with weird vibes, fake friends, or people who text ‘k.’” He still rolls with the day-ones, and honestly, we love that.
🏗️ “At Least I’m Not Laying Cement at 5 A.M.”
He’s grateful. But also self-aware. Bad Bunny knows he’s not out here building bridges or teaching algebra. “I just sing, cabrón,” he humbly flexed, while wearing pants more expensive than your car.
🚗 The Life of a Bunny in Hiding
Security is so intense he’s basically living in a tricked-out SUV like it’s Fast & Furious: Puerto Rico Drift. Imagine being this famous you don’t even know what outside smells like anymore.
🧓 He’ll Be Performing Till He’s a Grandpa
Your grandkids will STILL be seeing him on stage, doing full-body thrusts with orthopedic shoes on. He said, “The stage is where I’m happiest.” And we believe it. Imagine being 80 and still making crowds lose their minds with one pelvic pop.
🎭 Acting Like a Star (Literally)
Bad Bunny doesn’t just say yes to any script. No cheesy rom-coms or “Fast & Furious 17: Bunny Drift.” He wants roles that challenge him—basically Daniel Day-Lewis with better brows.
🧊 “Two Shows in Sweden?? Bro I Thought It Was a Prank.”
Even Benito’s out here getting bamboozled by his own tour schedule. TWO NIGHTS in Sweden??? IKEA wasn’t ready for that.
- No U.S. tour. Cry about it.
- No Taylor Swift spectacle. Heal from it.
- Yes to Puerto Rican pride, emotional albums, and luxury bunny chaos.
Catch him in Puerto Rico if you’re lucky. If not?
Stream the album and manifest. Or move. 🐇🔥 #BadBunny #NotTaylorSwift #PuertoRicoOnlyTour2025
