Ashlee Simpson Dodges Sister Jessica’s Love Life Drama Faster Than a TMZ Reporter on Rollerblades

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Ashlee Simpson just had a “quiet” date night derailed by none other than the paparazzi playing amateur marriage counselors. The 40-year-old singer stepped out for a lovely dinner at the ultra-chic Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills on Monday night with her husband, Evan Ross. But little did she know that while the main dish of the night was Chinese fusion, her appetizer would be…family drama!

Ashlee and Evan were probably hoping for a relaxing night of dumplings and gossip-free dining when TMZ swooped in, flashing their cameras and delivering the hard-hitting journalism that only happens outside restaurants at 10 p.m.

“Is it true? Do you know?” the TMZ reporter blurted out, referring to the recent whispers that Jessica Simpson and her hubby, Eric Johnson, might be headed for splitsville. You could practically see Ashlee’s thought bubble: “I just came for the noodles, man.” But, being the seasoned Simpson she is, she kept it cool and concise. Ashlee gave a perfect, zen-like response: “No.”

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Yep, “No.” The kind of answer that’s either saying, “Nope, everything’s good, chill out,” or “Nope, I have no clue what my sister’s Instagram captions even mean anymore.” It was vague enough to keep everyone guessing but assertive enough to remind everyone that she was there for dinner, not a relationship Q&A.

Now, let’s talk about the cryptic post that started this whole mystery in the first place. Earlier that day, Jessica had posted a pic from her Nashville music room with a caption that sounded like the opening lines of an emotional country ballad: “Interviews in my Nashville music room where I unearthed my singular magic. This comeback is personal, it’s an apology to myself for putting up with everything I did not deserve 🎶 🎼 🤍🖤.”

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Now, if that doesn’t sound like something that belongs in the middle of a rainy montage in a rom-com, I don’t know what does. Fans immediately went into overdrive trying to decode every word. “Is she mad at Eric?” “Is the ‘singular magic’ her hinting at single life?” “Is this about the last pair of sparkly cowboy boots she bought?”

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Meanwhile, Jessica’s probably somewhere in her music room, sipping tea, wondering why her Instagram has set off a chain reaction of tabloid frenzy. Ashlee, on the other hand, continues to live her best life with husband Evan, probably just grateful she’s managed to dodge becoming her sister’s unofficial spokesperson.

So, next time Ashlee heads out for date night, let’s hope the press sticks to what’s truly important: her thoughts on Mr. Chow’s latest menu addition.

@tmz #AshleeSimpson ♬ original sound – TMZ

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