The divorce saga of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, which has been more drawn out than a Hollywood sequel nobody asked for, has finally come to an end! Yes, you heard that right. After an eternity (or eight years, whichever sounds more dramatic), the once-dream couple has finally signed on the dotted line, proving that even the most glamorous of love stories can hit a few bumps—like a very bumpy road filled with potholes and legal documents!
According to the Hollywood grapevine—aka People—Angelina’s lawyers have confirmed that she and Brad officially put the “Divorce Done” stamp on their paperwork this past Monday (December 30). Talk about a holiday miracle!
In a statement that sounds suspiciously like it came straight out of a therapy session, Angelina’s lawyer revealed, “More than eight years ago, Angelina filed for divorce from Mr. Pitt. She and the children left all the properties they shared, because who needs the stress of joint property ownership, right? Since then, she has been on a quest for peace and healing, like a zen master trying to meditate through a chaotic Hollywood set. Frankly, she’s exhausted but relieved that this chapter is finally closed. Next on her agenda? Finding the world’s largest ice cream sundae to celebrate!”
And while Angelina’s legal team is ready to pop the champagne, Brad’s rep is playing it cool—because why not add a touch of mystery to this already soap opera-worthy drama? They declined to comment or confirm anything, probably while sipping a cold drink on a beach somewhere, completely unconcerned with the divorce saga.
But wait, there’s more! An insider who clearly is not a fan of gossiping in public said, “She doesn’t speak ill of [Pitt] publicly or privately. In fact, she’s been trying really hard to shine like a star after a very dark time.” You know what they say, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… or a blockbuster movie!”
After eight years of courtroom shenanigans and headline-hogging drama, Angelina and Brad are finally moving on. Now, if only we could settle all of our breakups this smoothly, with a lawyer and a sprinkle of Hollywood flair!
