Brace yourselves, because the tale of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck is unfolding like a telenovela with too much plot and not enough popcorn. Our beloved J.Lo, the queen of glowing skin and effortlessly snatched ponytails, has apparently thrown in the towel on her marriage to the brooding, Dunkin’ coffee-chugging, Boston-loving Ben Affleck. And it’s not pretty.
Word on the street (or, you know, from “a source” with an impressive ability to spill tea) is that Jenny from the Block is NOT okay, y’all. Like, put-on-your-saddest-playlist-and-scream-into-a-pillow not okay.
After months of whispering rumors and awkward side-eyes exchanged at red carpet events, J.Lo finally filed for divorce last week at the ripe young age of 55. And get this: as soon as the ink was barely dry on the papers, Ben was seen hanging out with another woman. Yep, the man barely gave his marriage the respect of a 24-hour mourning period before living it up. Maybe they were discussing deep philosophical matters over a latte, or maybe they were just planning their next movie night – who knows? (Spoiler: It probably wasn’t philosophical.)
Anyway, Jennifer is reportedly in the emotional trenches right now. A source, who clearly has a PhD in celebrity emotions, told People that the divorce has “really hit her hard.” I mean, wouldn’t you be if your ex was spotted sipping iced coffee with some mystery woman while you were busy crying over the empty half of your marital king-sized bed?
“She’s very upset and disappointed with Ben,” the insider revealed. Honestly, who wouldn’t be? The man probably spent more time brooding in front of the Batmobile than brooding over their relationship.
And get this – the source also revealed that J.Lo just isn’t comfortable in their house anymore. Yes, the house. The one they bought to “build a family” (and possibly store Ben’s extensive collection of flannel shirts and moody movie posters). Apparently, it’s now “way too big” for Jennifer. Well, yeah, it’s probably hard to get cozy in a mansion when every room is filled with awkward memories, like the time Ben probably forgot their anniversary because he was too busy making sad Batman faces in the mirror.
As if this rollercoaster wasn’t enough, they’ve decided to put the house on the market, because what better way to symbolize the end of a relationship than selling your overpriced love nest? I imagine the listing reads: “Luxury mansion for sale – perfect for families, or as a dramatic setting for breakups. Comes with pre-installed heartbreak, resentment, and questionable design choices.”
Another source chimed in with, “She’s doing as well as she can.” You know what that translates to? Eating Ben & Jerry’s straight from the tub while blasting Adele and sending passive-aggressive texts to Ben that start with, “I hope you’re happy.” She didn’t want to split, according to the insider. She wanted to “figure things out,” but apparently the math was too complicated. Perhaps the variables included too many exes and not enough communication.
